Inferno
by ludzoo
Summary: All vampires have one weakness, except Bella. Immortal in every way, Bella isn't harmed by the fire that kills her kind. Instead, fire was her only companion throughout a century of lonely years. However, that all changes when she meets the Cullens...
1. Prologue

Prologue

He warned me it would be painful; like I was being set on fire. But I was not afraid. Fire was my friend, my only loyal companion in the world where I didn't fit in. I felt the piercing sting of his teeth as he bit through the delicate skin on my neck. Tears sprung to my eyes and leaked down my cheeks. But then the fire started. Its warmth swept through my body and caressed each minuscule vein. The flames licked at each of my cells, leaving no part of my body untouched. I could feel the fire altering me as it gained force. I didn't feel pain, though. I felt power. I felt my body gaining strength and my mind gaining depth. It surged through me and wiped away any trace of lassitude. I embraced the fire as a lover would embrace a soul-mate. Time passed as the inferno altered me. It could have been seconds, days or years. All that existed was the fire, and me.

Then everything changed. The fire dissipated from my extremities and concentrated in my chest. I had no need to mourn the loss because the strength of the fire in my chest blocked every thought out of my mind. It was sheer ecstasy, and it kept getting stronger. The pressure was building and I didn't know if it would ever stop. I couldn't find it in me to care. With one final mind-numbing surge it hit breaking point. It was as if the fire exploded within me, racing back through my body. It was stronger now than it had been before as it filled me. The fire remained concentrated in my throat, though. Instincts that I never knew I had told me it was hunger. It didn't matter; it was glorious. In a motion more graceful than I had ever been, I sprang to my feet. I opened my eyes.

The world was different than I remembered, as if I had lived with a veil over my eyes without knowing. There were colors I had no name for and details I had only seen through magnifying glasses. I spun around in wonder, taking in the sights with awe. I imagine I would have been content just to look for quite some time, had I not been interrupted by a flood of memories from my human life. I gasped as they bombarded me.

The early years of my childhood all wove together in a tapestry of faces, colors, and emotions, none of which I could match with an event. Soon the memories became clearer. My previously high spirits hit the lowest of lows as I recalled the last years of my life. I shut down my mind; put up that solid wall against the memories that caused me so much despair. I couldn't block the emotions though. I wasn't prepared. They crippled me. The guilt and hatred I had for myself brought me to my knees. I knelt with my palms on the ground and my head bowed as I slowly fought back the emotions. My improved mind was harder to control. There was so much space, the ability to think so many things at once, that it took me so much more effort to push everything away.

It took a long time. I recognized that even though time no longer had an affect on my body. After a few more moments I slowly raised to my feet. The world retained the same magnificent beauty, but it had somehow changed for me. It was as if my misery had cast a shadow over everything. I shook my head slowly and pushed the memories farther into the recesses of my mind.

I was utterly alone; alone with only my thoughts to keep me company. I skimmed over the memories that I could handle- the ones right before my change. My thoughts paused on the red eyed man.

_I was alone in the forest, wallowing in self-despair, when he stepped into the clearing. His eyes locked on mine. They were a crimson color, and they were glowing. Fear did not come. I no longer valued my life, so I had no reason to fear its end. In a flash, he was in front of me, within two feet of my face. I blinked. He looked surprised. I suppose any other human would have reacted, but I was way past it. Being the way I was, I had no choice but to believe in the supernatural. It was quiet for a measure of time as he studied me intently. I grew tired of waiting for him to speak. _

"_What are you?" I asked in a monotone voice. I couldn't bring myself to care. _

"_A vampire," he replied equally as casually, though I could see the hesitation in his crimson orbs. I suppose he thought that would elicit a response. He got one, but I don't think it was what he expected._

"_Shouldn't you be burning to death?" I questioned with a slight glance at the sun peeking through the trees. _

_He paused and searched my face for another immeasurable moment. I don't know what he was looking for, but whatever it was I guess he found it in my expression. He started talking again. He told me that he was nothing like the vampires in novels; he was not hurt by the sun, wooden stakes, or garlic. He was super strong, amazingly fast, and immortal. He said he drinks blood. I absorbed it all on the inside but showed no outer reaction to the information. With another wary glance he continued on to tell me that some vampires have gifts. His was the ability to sense humans that will have gifts. An invisible pull drew him to the humans, and he had the intense need to change them. I remember being confused at that point, wondering what change he was referring to. It must have shown on my face because he told me I would find out shortly. Then he told me to be ready, that it would be painful…_

"Vampire," I thought in my head. "I am a vampire. I drink blood. I kill." I violently cringed at the thought. I could not kill another innocent human being. I refused. I would rather die myself than bring about the death of another. I tried to kill myself. For endless hours and days I tried to end my life. Nothing worked. My body was as strong as the toughest stone, incapable of being harmed in any way.

I thought of the crimson-eyed man. I thought that I deserved this fate. That it was my punishment to never have the sweet release of death. Anger built inside of me. I could do nothing to stop it. It gained force like a giant wave crashing through me. It was the same as when I was human but millions of times more powerful. As a human I learned to stop the tide in its tracks, to control my emotions before the fire escaped out of me. I had no control over my new mind. The fire grew until the energy inside me was at breaking point. I screamed mightily as the fire exploded from inside of me in a giant fireball. I heard the sounds of destruction, the trees crackling and turning to ash all around me. I heard birds squawking as they tried in desperation to escape the inferno. The sounds knocked sense into me and I was able to gain a semblance of control. With a deep breath, I summoned the fire back to me. It was easier to control than when I was a human, the flames bent so easily to my will that even I was amazed. In no time at all the fire was contained inside me again, smoldering lightly through my body, as was the norm. I was scared to open my eyes and survey the damage, but I did anyway. Ruins encircled me in a radius of around a hundred feet. I was shocked.

As a human, I was well aware of my influence over fire. I was drawn to it, and it never harmed me. I remember the shriek of my mother as I coaxed the flame from the candle onto my palm. I remember her growing dreadfully pale as I stretched my fingers and it swelled to double its size. And I remember her fainting when I threw it back onto the wick of the candle. That was the day that I showed her my ability. She was more supportive than I had ever hoped for. Her love for me didn't change, though she often looked at me with confusion, wonder, and even fear. I don't think she realized she was doing it. It didn't bother me; I knew I was a freak. And nevertheless, we grew closer still. She finally understood why I never had any close friends, why I didn't act like a normal teenager. She didn't try to convince me to go out on weekends anymore; instead we stayed inside and kept each other company. She meant so much to me, she was my best friend; my only friend.

The thoughts of my mother brought on another wave of despair. I cursed myself as the memories tries to break through. It was another long stretch of time before I had them under control again. Never before had I had this much trouble with control. I learned from a young age to have power over my mind. It had been a long process, but I had eventually conquered it. Now it looked like I would have to start from scratch. I knew it was necessary though, as I surveyed the damage I had done to the forest. I owed it to my mother to control my ability.

So I vowed to stay in that desolate clearing until I once again dominated the fire. The days and nights rolled by, but they had no effect on me. It was a faster process than before, I had no need to eat, sleep, or go to school. My body never wearied. It was easier now too; it seemed the fire wanted to cooperate. It bent easily to my will. The more power I gained over it, the stronger it became.

I spent time getting to know my mind as well. As a human, my mind had many limits. How many things I could store, block or think. This brain had infinite space; infinite capabilities. But I still had to control it. Each part of my brain controlled a different part of my body, my emotions, or my thoughts. By understanding each individual part, I gained the skill to utilize each one separately at my will. I finally had complete control.

During this process the fire in my throat was building. It was controlled by one section of my brain, the section that measured my need for nutrition. It was a difficult section to control; the most unruly of them all. I could tell that it could easily overpower rational thought if I allowed it to. I didn't allow that. Instead I let the fire grow. I was an amazing feeling; the fire was so powerful. Had it not affected everything else, I would have been content to let it grow forever. But, it seemed as if the fire in my throat sucked energy from the fire in my body. As it grew stronger, the fire in my body grew weaker. That was not acceptable. I closed my eyes in concentration and focused on the part of my brain that controlled the fire in my throat. I forced the fire to dissipate, and it trickled back into the rest of my body. It took enormous strength of mind, and I knew it would be easier to just satiate my hunger.

I needed blood. There was no way I would kill a human, so that left one option. Vampires in books only drank from humans, but the crimson-eyed man said he wasn't like those characters. I figured that blood was blood, no matter the source. And on all sides of my desolate clearing, the forest was teeming with wildlife- animals with blood running through their veins. The thought of killing still made me cringe, but I remembered all the steaks and chicken sandwiches I had eaten as a human, and knew it was the same in principle. I would have to deal with it.

I slowly walked from the clearing, though I knew I could go at immeasurable speeds. I focused on the part of my brain that controlled my sense of smell and hearing. I let them have power, but made sure I could still think rationally. I closed my eyes and let my senses guide my feet. I glided over shrubs and trees and moved silently through fallen leaves. Soon I smelt the blood. I could hear it pumping through the deer, and its smell permeated the air. When the smells and sound assaulted my brain, that unruly part that controlled my nutrition tried to take over. I was prepared, and fought it back. I didn't close it off completely though; I needed the instincts to guide me.

With one mighty leap, I had my hands on the deer. Before it knew what was happening, I snapped its neck; I couldn't stand to see it suffer. My teeth tore effortlessly through its skin. In was an automatic, uncontrollable action to drain the blood. The effect was instantaneous. The fire surged to new heights and I felt more powerful than ever before. The fire in my throat spread through me, adding to the energy. It was glorious. It took my breath away.

I was eager to experiment with the new strength of the fire so I ran back to the clearing, away from the highly flammable foliage. I took a deep breath and focused my mind. I started out slow. I stretched out my palm and let out the smallest bit of the flames inside me. They kindled on my open palm, dancing merrily along my skin. I let out more. Soon my whole body was ensconced in the flames. The heat was glorious, the feeling indescribable. I let it blaze for a long time. It was amazingly soothing, like the sound of music and the embrace of a friend. Peace surrounded me.

I began to wonder, for probably the millionth time, why the fire didn't harm me. I examined my skin. My sharp new eyes picked up details I had never noticed as a human. The flames danced along my skin, but it was as if they never touched me. It was as if there was a film covering my body. Now that I was focused on it, it seemed to have a light of its own. I sorted through my brain, wondering if I could control it. Indeed, I found a small part of my mind I had overlooked previously. It was difficult to manipulate, but not impossible. It acted almost like a muscle. I flexed it and the film grew stronger, glowed brighter. It was such like a muscle that I wondered if I could move it. I focused, and silently commanded it. The film stretched away from my body. It was an amazing sight. The flames followed it, never passing through the border of the film. I pushed it away more; creating a halo of flames surrounding my body. I admired it for quite some time before relaxing my brain. The film snapped back into place; once again molding to my skin. I called the fire back into my body and it disappeared, leaving a trail of smoke. The film was still there; easily visible and I wondered how I had overlooked it before.

I was proud, energized, and in control. Had it not been for the ever-lingering despair, I may have actually been happy.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

My truck wheezes as I pull into the parking lot of Forks High School. The poor Chevy is way past showing signs of old age; it's a senior citizen. Though it is sturdy and reliable, I'm shocked at how long it has lasted. I bought it new in the early sixties. It was the first and only car I have ever owned. The paint, that used to shine fire-engine red, is rusty and peeling. The antique radio has long since stopped working, and the only air-conditioning system is the crank to roll down the windows.

I know I should just let it go and buy a more modern car, but I can't bring myself to get rid of it. It is one of the only constants in my ever-changing life, and I love it despite all its problems. I know I'll be driving it until refuses to drive another inch.

I study the school as I look for a spot to park. It's more like a miniature college campus. There looks to be about five separate buildings, all covered in moss and looking like the forest is about to swallow them up. Small concrete sidewalks twist and turn all over the grounds, connecting the little buildings.

I wonder who designed the school. I don't have to have a couple architecture degrees to realize the stupidity of the design. Why, in one of the rainiest towns in the country would someone design a school where students have to walk outside in between every class? Maybe it was a platypus in disguise that designed it.

I locate a spot near the front of the school and pull in quickly. I hope I haven't taken anyone's parking spot; I know how weird high school students can be about parking their car in the same exact spot everyday. It's baffling to me, but I just go along with it.

As I step out of the car I contemplate if I should have left a note or something. I decide I don't care enough to put in the extra effort. I flick up the hood of my black rain coat because, lo and behold, it's raining.

I begin my trek through the puddles that are really more like small oceans, and notice a rather large amount of whispering in my wake. It seems the student body has already recognized that I am in fact the new student they have no doubt been gossiping about for weeks. In a town this small, it is impossible to avoid attention. Though I was a human who loathed the spot light with a passion, I've learned to deal with it as a vampire.

I look up from the mini waves crashing around my gray peep-toe wedges and give a dazzling smile to a couple of students as I walk by. I fight the urge to roll my eyes at the looks on the faces of the teenage boys. I always try to be kind to them; it's my fault, after all, that they are attracted to me.

Vampires are the epitome of cunning when it comes to attracting prey. Humans are lured in by the appearance and even the scent of the immortal beings. I suppose it comes in handy for those of my kind that feast on humans, but it's more of a burden for me. It is very difficult to blend in when everything about me is made to stand out.

Though humans are irresistibly drawn to vampires, there is part of their subconscious that recognizes the danger of getting too close. This poses no problem for normal vampires; by the time the human acknowledges the fear and decides to run away, they are dead. Once again, however, this is a burden to me. It is hard to be part of society when society is scared of me for no reason other than my nature.

So, I turn off the part of my brain that sends out those pesky, invisible waves that make me seem threatening to humans. It works marvelously well to keep the humans from running away screaming, but it also means I have to deal with the force or their attraction with nothing to curb it. It's all about trade-off.

I remind myself that I will only have to endure a few weeks of their flattery and ridiculous attempts to woo me before they finally get the hint they I am not interested in dating them.

It is also around that time that the girls will stop glaring at me like they wish they were the ones who could burn me up with their mind. It's always the same. They will be jealous of the attention I'm getting so they will lash out at me. It's not until they realize that I am not aiming to steal away their pubescent boyfriends that they surrender and back-off.

Due to my super-human hearing, I can understand exactly what they are whispering excitedly at each other. Out of habit, I listen to their conversations for a moment before tuning them out. It is essential that I catch any threats to my secrecy before they can manifest into more dangerous thoughts and rumors. Not to my surprise, most of the conversation is focused on me. I tune them out as quickly as possible. One conversation, however, stops me right in my tracks.

"Jasper, can you get a read on her?"

"No, it's like she's not even there."

"Edward, what about you?"

"No, nothing for me either."

"I can't see her."

I focus intently on their words. I keep walking but now I couldn't care less about being polite to the humans. Another part of my mind registers the speed and volume at which they are talking. No human could possibly understand or hear what they are saying, even if they were standing right next to them. I have to strain my ears just to make out their dialogue. There is only one possibility, and the thought drenches me with dread.

I snap my head up and zero in on the source of the conversation. Sure enough, staring directly at me from across the lot are five vampires.

I barely stifle a gasp. I look away so quickly I doubt the people around me even saw my eyes deviate from the concrete. My feet unintentionally carry me a bit faster toward the entrance to the school. My mind is on overdrive.

Physically, vampires are not a threat to me; not at all. Even if they were able to get close enough to attack me, I could burn them to ashes in a matter of seconds.

I have run into a handful of vampires in the past. I don't mind the interactions; in fact, I have learned valuable information from the immortal creatures. Before I met others of my kind, it was as if I lived in a bubble, oblivious to the world around me. Those encounters, however, were always so brief that they barely scratched the surface.

I had learned early on that my gift would make me either a threat that the population would want to eliminate, or someone who the population would look up to as a leader. I want neither of those things, so secrecy is the most important aspect of my life. There is no other being in the world that knows about my gift, and I plan to keep it that way.

Living in close proximity with this coven of vampires would threaten my privacy. Vampires are territorial creatures my nature, so they would undoubtedly want to know everything about me so they could decide whether or not I am a threat. They already know too much about me for my liking.

If not for my curiosity, I probably would have left the town already; found a new place to start my new life. But I want to know more about this coven. There are five of them. The largest coven I have ever come across consisted of three members. Their eyes are golden. That means they don't kill humans; they drink the blood of animals, like me. Never before have I come across another vampire who shares my diet. The majority of them have gifts. They recognize that I have gifts because their abilities are thwarted by mine.

Though my instincts are telling me to flee while I still can, my brain is telling me to stay put. My mind is in limbo all morning. Luckily, I am so experienced in the human act that it is practically automatic. I am able to go through all the motions of the morning and look like I am thoroughly absorbed, when really I am paying no attention.

By the time lunch rolls around I have organized my thoughts enough to focus consciously on what is happening around me. I have a mini panic attack; thinking I am about to be ambushed by a furry animal of some kind, before I realize that it is just the hair of a small girl named Jessica.

She's telling me about some boy named Mike, who I apparently talked to in first period. Though she is trying to be sly about it, she is obviously trying to hint to me that he's taken. I decide to just pacify her, so I smile and say "that's great!" when she tells me how long they've been dating. She seems a bit more kind after that.

I grab a salad and a water bottle on my way through the lunch line and then follow Jessica to her table. I grab a seat at the end. The kids are bombarding me with questions before I even have the chance to sit down. I take a deep breath and field them all carefully.

After a few minutes the interrogation slows down and I start to eat my salad. Most vampires can't eat human food without having to regurgitate it later. I'm not like most vampires. I very carefully kindle a small fire in my stomach to incinerate the food as it enters. It tastes terrible and provides no nutritional value, but it helps with the human façade.

"The Cullens are staring at you, Bella," whispers a kind girl names Angela from across the table. My fork freezes on the journey to my mouth. I have a pretty good idea of who the Cullens are. I look around, and sure enough, five vampires are staring at me from across the room.

"I guess I better go talk to them," I say, and get up before the table can say anything. I can practically see the shocked looks on their faces even though my back is turned to them.

I had decided, during my morning of contemplation, that I can curb my curiosity of this coven without letting them know my secret. I will have to be extremely careful, but I know my mind will not rest until I uncover the mystery that is the Cullens.

I stare back at them on my way to their table. Despite my extraordinary eye sight, I didn't get a good look at them in the split second glance in the parking lot. I see now that there are three males and two females.

The first female is easily the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my life. Long golden blond hair surrounds her pale striking features. If not for the scowl on her face, I may have developed a mini girl-crush on her. As it happens, anger turns me off and, anyways, I am attracted to men.

The next girl is so short and thin that she reminds me of a child. Her black hair sticks up in all directions, but she somehow makes it look glorious. I furrow my eyebrows; she seems to be vibrating in her seat. I shake my head and move my gaze onto the next male.

He is obviously mated with the tiny girl. His body is tilted towards her seemingly unconsciously, and I know he would react at a moments notice to anything that could possible harm her. He has his arm around her little shoulders. It seems to me if he was not keeping her grounded, she would fly away. He has blond hair and looks like he's in pain. I imagine the smell of human blood is getting to him. Upon closer inspection, I realize that his skin is covered in half-moon shapes. It looks like the one I have on my neck. My eyes widen when I realize how many times he must have been bitten. I quickly move my gaze to the next male; the mate of the gorgeous blond.

He is by far the biggest vampire I have ever laid eyes on. Muscles are bulging out everywhere. If not for the curly brown hair and dimples in his cheeks, I would have been thoroughly frightened of him. His expression just makes him look like a giant teddy bear; a teddy bear on steroids, that is.

The last male literally makes my mind go blank. I feel like I need one of those little Japanese fans to cool myself off with. He has a head full of funky penny-colored hair that sticks up all over the place. His features are more beautiful than any I have ever seen, even for a vampire. His cheekbones are high and defined and his lips are swoon-worthy. His deliciously thick brows are furrowed, creating little creases between his stunning golden eyes. He seems to be studying me like I am studying him.

Thankfully, my crazy thoughts don't show on the outside. My body moves on auto-pilot while my mind is on temporary vacation. I'm able to shake myself out of it and break his gaze when I have almost reached the table. I take a moment to gather my scattered thoughts.

I survey their faces again, but avoid the bronze-haired god for fear of loosing my composure again. None of them look like they are about to speak, so I set my salad on the table and slide into an empty seat. They still don't say anything, so I eat a forkful of lettuce, all the while keeping an eye on them with my peripheral vision.

"Something you want to say, muscle-man?" I ask him with an arch of my left brow. It's hard not to laugh at his gaping face and wide-open mouth, but somehow I mange to keep a cool demeanor.

"But you… you're eating!" he says as if he had just discovered that I am Elvis Presley in disguise.

I roll my eyes, but can't control a small giggle from slipping past my lips. I take an exaggerated bite just for show.

The over-protective looking guy with blond hair leans toward me as if distance will answer all his questions. "What are you?" he asks, but the tone of his voice makes it seem like he is wondering rather than questioning. I also pick up the slight hint of a southern accent from him, and it only serves to fuel my curiosity.

With over-exaggerated glances over my left and right shoulders, I confirm that every human in the room, whether covertly or otherwise, is attempting to eavesdrop on our conversation. The five other vampires seem to get the hint.

"You'll have to come over to our house tonight then!" declares the little vampire. She is doing that vibrating thing again, and even claps hers hands together a couple times. It's kind of endearing.

The southern guy puts his arm around her again and she visibly relaxes. My sharp senses automatically pick up on it. It is normal for mates to be able to influence the emotions of one another, but this goes above and beyond. It was like he forced calm onto her. I push it to the back of my mind for contemplation in the future.

"You better calm down a bit little pixie, or the cowboy won't be able to keep you from taking-off," I say in a nonchalant voice, as I take another bite of my salad. It seems the beautiful boy finds this funny because he covers his mouth to hide his laughter. It doesn't work, and a funny little snort escapes through his delicate fingers.

I glance at him and chuckle before continuing. "Hulk, blondie, scar-face, pixie, penny-head, it was nice to meet you. I'll see you tonight," I say as I stand up. I walk away before they can reply.


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

It turns out I don't have to wait until tonight to see all of the Cullens again.

I walk into my last block of the day, Chemistry, it rather high spirits. Everything is going according to plan. I give a paper to my teacher to sign and take a moment to study her. She looks to be around her early forties, with curly brown hair and small wire-rimmed glasses on the bridge of her nose. I notice the laugh lines around her eyes. She hands me back the signed paper and tells me with a smile to grab the empty seat in the back.

The classroom is fairly empty still; there are only a couple students to stare at me as I head to the back. I slide into the seat she pointed out and dig in my bag to find a book to read.

I never go anywhere without a book. Humans don't find the need to pester me with inane questions and pointless introductions if they think I'm absorbed in another world.

Today I pull out a funny little book by Sophie Kinsella. She's a fairly new European author, but she writes with humor and wit that makes her anecdotes perfect for light reading.

I focus most of my energy on reading, but part of my mind still recognizes when the classroom begins to fill up. Most of the students who come through the door glance around, see me, and then start whispering to their friends. I pretend to be absorbed with the novel.

Everyone finally gets settled and the teacher is about to start, when the door opens again. I look up, along with everyone else in the class, and my mind does that blank thing again. The beautiful Cullen boy, the one who I called penny-head for lack of a real name, is standing in the doorway looking like he walked straight of the pages of a glossy magazine.

I hear sighs coming from the girls in all directions, and for some reason I feel angry; almost like I'm territorial of him. It must be something in the water.

He dazzles the teacher with a smile that sparkles so much it could be seen from the moon. If I could still blush, my face would look like I spent a few days in the dessert with no sunscreen on. I hastily turn my attention back to my book, but the words refuse to focus on the page. I pretend to be engrossed in them anyway.

Out of the corner of my eye I see him walking towards me. I see him freeze for a minuscule second when he sees me in the class. It is dreadfully hard to keep my eyes on the page. My insides do a little jig when he slides into the seat next to me. I wonder if a vampire can get sick, or go crazy; this has never happened to me before.

The teacher begins to lecture and I take out a pencil and pretend to take notes even though the periodic table is the last thing on my mind.

I can literally feel the vampire sitting next to me, even though we aren't touching at all. It's as if a spark is running between us. I finally allow myself to glance up at him. He is staring intently at me. His brows are furrowed again. I have to physically restrain myself from smoothing out the wrinkles with my finger. The spark intensifies immensely with eye contact. It seems to kindle the fire inside me. I feel energized and alive.

He breaks eye contact with me and I feel my shoulders slump minutely. I want the energy back. I don't want it to ever leave. I notice that he's scrawling something on a piece of paper. It takes him a few seconds and then he slides it over to me.

_**My name is Edward**._

I suppose he doesn't like to be called penny-head much. I read it needlessly through a few more times soaking in his perfect calligraphy. "Edward", I whisper to myself, trying it out. I see his eyes widen and hear him draw a sharp breath. The name suits him perfectly.

I recall the conversation I overheard in the parking lot this morning and realize that he is one of the gifted vampires in their coven. I contemplate asking him what it is he can do, before realizing that he would undoubtedly ask me the same thing back. My shoulders slump a bit more. For some reason, I want to tell this beautiful boy my secret. It frightens me; secrecy is vital. He doesn't notice my shift in emotion because he is writing something else on the paper.

**_Are you a vampire? You have purple eyes. I've never come across an immortal being with eyes that are not red or gold. Do you drink blood? Did you really eat the salad? I don't think you're dangerous. Are you dangerous?_**

I glance at the paper and chuckle. I write back.

_Whoa there tonto. I thought we discussed this already. I'll answer all your questions tonight. _

I begin to pass it back to him but add _as best as I can _at the last moment. He reads it and frowns. We write back and forth until the bell sounds, making us both jump. I read over the paper once more before standing up.

_**Tonight is too far away**._

_A couple of hours is a millisecond when you have forever to live._

_**Aha! You're immortal**._

_You're intelligence astounds me._

_**Well, it's not as if you're giving me anything to work with**._

_Okay fine let's see… Barney terrifies me._

**_How does that help me figure you out?_**

_I suppose it doesn't._

**_What's your favorite color?_**

_How does that help you figure me out?_

**_I suppose it doesn't._**

_Purple._

**_Your e__yes are breathtaking._**

_Flattery won't get you answers._

**_It was worth a try. It's true, anyway__._**

_Thanks._

**_What will get me answers?_**

_Patience._

**_I'm not good with patience. _**

_That's a shame._

**_Tell me something about yourself. Please._**

_You first._

**_I was born in 1901._**

_I lived in a forest in 1901._

**_Why?_**

_Why not?_

**_This is infuriating__._**

_Why?_

**_I never have trouble getting answers._**

_Practice makes perfect._

**_Or, you could just give me answers__._**

_Where's the fun in that?_

**_I don't find this fun._**

_You're smile says otherwise._

**_I didn't realize I was smiling. _**

I chuckle as I read over the note. As I put my books away, I see Edward fold it carefully and slip it in his pocket. When he's done he turns in my direction.

"May I walk you out, Bella?" he questions hesitantly, as if he thinks I might refuse. His voice sounds like velvet, and it dazzles me thoroughly. My name sounds so much better coming from his lips. It takes me a moment to respond.

"I'd like that," I say quietly, suddenly shy. He smiles a glittery smile and holds the door open for me. We chat on the way to the parking lot, keeping it light. He laughs loudly when I tell him my theory about the platypus designing the school. His laughter is a chorus of bells; a glorious sound I want to bottle up and keep forever.

Eventually we reach the parking lot. The rest of his coven is standing by a silver shiny Volvo. He places his hand on my back to lead me over to them. I can't concentrate on anything else. Compared to the spark I felt up until this time, his touch creates a raging wildfire inside of me. I devote extra brain-power into making sure the fire cannot escape. I cringe inwardly at the thought.

All too soon, we reach the Volvo and he drops his hand. The fire immediately dissipates and I want to cry out. His hand twitches as if it wants to touch me again. I wish I had telekinesis so I could make it.

Trying to ignore Edward beside me, I concentrate on the vampires in front of me. They are all watching us intently. The little pixie one is bouncing up and down on her toes.

"Hi, Bella! I'm Alice. This is Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett, and you know Edward. Sorry we didn't introduce ourselves at lunch; that was rude. What time do you want to come over tonight? You could just follow us home if you want. Or I can give you our address. You should have it anyway. How was your first day? Do you like it here? I'll have to show you around. Do you like to shop? We could go to Port Angeles!" She is talking so fast I am having a hard time keeping up. She only stops when the cowboy, Jasper, puts one hand on her shoulder and presses his finger to her lips.

I turn to Edward, my eyes wide. "What is with you people?" I demand, feeling wearied just by being around Alice.

He chuckles and tells Alice to take a deep breath.

She does, and then she starts talking again. I brace myself, but this time she manages to keep it at a normal speed. "Sorry, Bella. I'm just so excited to meet you!" she says, and I can see the eagerness in her eyes. It's rather charming.

I smile at her softly and tell her not to worry about it. "I think it'll be easiest if I follow you home," I say and her eyes light up.

She screeches a little and herds everyone into the car. Edward looks like he doesn't want to leave. I don't want him to leave either. I also don't want to have to save him from a pixie attack, so I nudge him in the direction of the car and head to my truck.

My body already misses the spark. I want to be back with Edward. I want him to feel the fire raging through my body. The thoughts alarm me. I have never wanted to be close to another being. I know now, more than ever, that I should run away and never come back, but I stubbornly push the thought away. I follow the silver car away from the school and wonder if I'm making a big mistake.


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The Cullens' home is simply marvelous. Three stories of clean lines and massive windows dominate the skyline. I see through one of the windows that the entire back wall of the house is glass. It takes my breath away. There are potted plants on all the steps and some by the doors. A swinging bench hangs from the roof of the porch. The landscaping is just enough to make it look neat, but also still natural. I hear the soft sounds of rushing water and see a small creek tucked into the woods behind the house.

I pull into the driveway and park behind the Volvo. I sit in the car for a few moments, composing myself. After a few meditative breaths I open the door and step out. Edward is waiting for me outside my truck, and I instinctively step as close to him as I can without invading his personal space. I sigh and smile as the electricity connects us and the fire warms me.

I think he can tell that I'm anxious about this meeting, but I know he doesn't know why. Nevertheless, he tries to bring up my spirits as we walk toward the house. He cracks jokes about my truck and I scowl at him. No one messes with Big Red. I tell him this, but it just makes him laugh harder. By the time we reach the door he is doubled over with mirth while I glare at him with my arms crossed. If only he knew what I could do.

I raise my hand to knock, since Edward is obviously not going to let me in, but the door swings open before my fist touches it. Alice is standing there, looking as excited as always. She sees Edward and freezes. I'm about to explain when her face breaks into an impossibly large grin. I think if she smiled any bigger her little face would crack.

"Thank you, Bella," she says, turning to me with reverence.

I have no idea what she's talking about and I point this out to her. She tells me that I'll know soon enough. It just confuses me more.

By this point Edward has managed to regain control, and he is staring at Alice with his brows furrowed. He seems to do that a lot. She stares back at them as if they were having a conversation. His eyes widen and she nods. He shakes his head almost imperceptibly and she rolls her eyes.

I focus my ears extra hard to see if they are just talking so softly that I can't hear them, but I get nothing. I notice that their lips aren't moving. It's another thing I tuck away for later processing.

Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie join us in the foyer. Emmett is looking rather eager and has a wide smile on his face. By the looks of it, he's dragging Rosalie, who seems reluctant to come in the room. Jasper barely spares me a glance, and instead walks over to Alice, wraps his arms around her, and rests his chin on her head.

"Was that Edward we heard? Or did Bella run over that stray cat with her monstrosity of a vehicle?" says Emmett with a twinkle in his eye.

"That was a cat I hit? I thought it was just a bump in the road," I exclaim.

"You killed that cute little kitty? How could you?" shouts Emmett and he dashes outside.

Now I am the one doubled over laughing, but I think everyone else thinks I'm a heartless murderer. Rosalie especially is glaring up a storm at me. I ignore her.

Emmett comes back into the room wrestling an orange fur-ball of a cat in his arms. The poor thing is looking terrified, and rightly so, being trapped in the arms of his predator.

Everyone else joins in the laughter now, except Emmet. He growls at me, I think trying to frighten me but it only scares the cat more.

"Emmett Cullen! What did I tell you about having that cat in the house?" says a new voice, and I spin around to find the source.

Two vampires I have never seen before are standing at the foot of the stairs. They are beautiful of course, but I can't take time to process it because my mind is on overdrive again. Seven. There are seven vampires in their coven. I thought five vampires was a phenomenon. Seven vampires makes five vampires seem mundane.

I guess I must look shocked because Edward comes over and rests his hand on my shoulder. I don't know if he was trying to, but it distracts me immensely. The glorious fire runs through my body, making me want to sigh. I restrain myself.

"Bella, this is Carlisle and Esme. Our parents, for lack of a better word," he says in his beautifully smooth voice. I have to stop myself from swooning.

I keep my emotions guarded as I shake their hands. I am surprised, sure, but mainly I am curious. More than ever before, I want to find out the story behind the Cullens.

Now that I am over my initial shock, I take the chance to study them. Esme has soft light brown hair that shines in perfect waves. She looks naturally maternal and I can already tell she is exceptionally kind.

Carlisle is as beautiful as Jasper and Emmett, with blond hair and striking features. He has a great presence about him, as if he has accomplished so much in his life. He looks shocked at first when he lays eyes on me, but then his gaze becomes calculating and awe-struck. I can tell he is an intellectual.

He speaks softly to me, and I can hear the wisdom in his voice. "Forgive me if I am overstepping my boundaries, but I can't help but wonder about you, Bella. You have purple eyes. I would be ever so intrigued to hear your story."

"I think we all want to know about Bella," booms Emmett.

"Why don't we all sit down, and Bella can tell us about herself if she wishes," says Esme.

She leads us into a comfortable looking family room. Warm browns and reds accent the space. Multiple chairs and couches face towards a huge flat screen television. Game systems and movies are packed on a shelf that spans from floor to ceiling. The house is more modern on the inside than I would have guessed.

Edward sits on a small couch and I join him. I sit close enough to feel the fire, but not so close that I get distracted. This is a dicey situation, and I need all my focus.

"What are you?" shouts Emmett impatiently. Esme looks like she is about to scold him for his outburst so I answer quickly.

"A girl, a brunette, a student, an artist, an earthling. Pick whichever suits you."

"You know what I meant," says Emmett.

I shrug. "Enlighten me," I say, and he looks puzzled.

"You know," he says and I raise my brow. "What species are you?"

I feign realization. "Ah, now isn't that the million dollar question."

"Are you always like this?" asks Emmett.

Edward answers for me. "Yes. Don't expect to get anything out of her," he says. I grin.

"Are you a vampire, Bella?" asks Jasper, very impatiently.

I turn to Edward. "You would think you people would learn some patience after however many hundred years you've been alive," I say with a roll of my eyes. He chuckles. I turn back to Jasper.

"Yes," I say simply.

He looks contemplative. "How can you be a vampire? The ease with which you interact with humans astounds me. Even Carlisle, the most humane of us all, can't get close to humans without them noticing that he is different. That subconscious fear keeps them at a distance, even if they don't realize it. But it's as if they want to be close to you. I tried, but I couldn't detect a semblance of fear when they talk to you."

Something clicks in my mind as he finishes his eloquent speech. "Empath," I whisper, finally connecting the dots surrounding Jasper.

They all look at me shocked, so I guess I'm right. I shrug. Carlisle turns to Edward but doesn't say anything. Edward inclines his head. I recall his similar interaction with Alice at the door. The note we passed back and forth in class also comes to my mind. _I never have trouble getting answers. _ The mystery about Edward's gift comes into focus as well. "Mind-reader," I whisper, and garner more astounded looks.

I ignore them and focus on Alice. According to the conversation I overheard in the parking lot, she is the other gifted vampire, but I haven't gotten any hints as to what she can do. Unless excitement is her power, she has given nothing away.

As I study her, her body goes rigid in her seat. Her eyes glaze over, as if she no longer sees us in front of her. I gasp, but none of the Cullens seems phased. I glance at Edward and he is focused on her, reading her mind, I presume. Edward turns to Carlisle.

"You'll have to go back into the hospital tonight in a couple hours. It looks like some high school students are celebrating the fact that it's Friday, and think it's a good idea to drive. Everyone will be okay, but you'll have to do a couple surgeries," he says nonchalantly.

Alice finally snaps out of it and nods. "Three hours," she adds calmly.

My eyes are wide as my brain processes what just transpired. If I'm not mistaken, and I'm usually not, she just predicted the future. Even for a vampire, that gift would be exceptional. It's exciting to find someone who stands out like I do. I find myself wanting to share what I can do. I stop that train of thought immediately and refocus on Alice.

"You can see the future?" I ask, and I can hear the wonder in my voice.

She smiles widely and answers, "To a point. The future changes as people change their minds. Some things are more set in stone than others."

"That's very impressive," I answer, and I mean it.

"I can't see you at all though," she says and stares deeply into my eyes, as if they will give her the answer. "I imagine you can tell us why that is?"

"Yes," I say, but leave it at that. I would never lie, but saying anything more would be verging on dangerous territory. I need to divert the conversation away from my gifts, and quickly.

"I must admit, I am terribly curious about your coven," I say to the room, "How is it that seven vampires can live together as peacefully as you seem to do? I have never before met another vampire that drinks animal blood, and to come across an entire coven, and an extraordinarily large one at that, with golden eyes is astounding to me. I would love to hear your story."

The vampires around the room settle back into their chairs. Jasper tucks Alice under his arm and she rests her head on his chest. Emmett and Rosalie hold hands. Esme leans into Carlisle and closes her eyes. Carlisle clears his throat and takes me back to a time three hundred some years in the past with his majestic voice. I lean forward, intent on hearing every word.


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

I collapse onto my bed the moment I walk into my little room. As a vampire who doesn't sleep, I know it's pointless to have a bed, but I don't care. I do my best thinking when I am snuggled under the covers.

The Cullen family is amazing. Family. Not coven. After hearing their story it's impossible not to call them a family.

I knew from the first time I saw him that Carlisle had accomplished great things. I had no idea how great they really were. His beginning reminds me a lot of my own story; repulsed by his very nature, he tried to kill himself many times. When he found out he couldn't, he spent the rest of his life going against his instincts. I know how hard it was for me to resist drinking human blood, and I know it must have been hundreds of times harder for him without the fire on his side. And then to become a doctor! I truly am in awe of Carlisle, and yet he is so modest.

When Carlisle began to tell me Edward's story; that Edward was dying of the Spanish Influenza, my stomach dropped to the floor. Even now I don't know why, but the idea of him moments away from death makes me hurt inside. As I was listening, my hand went of its own accord to his arm, if only to make sure that he did in fact survive.

Edward got very stiff at one point during the tale and I sensed that there was more to the story than Carlisle was telling. I tucked it away to bring up later.

Esme's story was heart-wrenching. To think of her beautiful body mangled inside and out from the loss of her baby that led her to jump off a cliff made me sob silently. She smiled, though, and told me not to be sad; her story has a happy ending. I looked around the room then, at the couples snuggled up to each other around the room and the love that permeated the air, and I couldn't help but agree with her.

Carlisle changed Rosalie next. Rosalie became very stony when Carlisle began telling her story. Her face looked angry and her hand clenched Emmett's in a death grip. Emmett rubbed her back with his other hand but it did little to sooth her. Carlisle said very little about how she came into this world.

Rosalie only relaxed when Carlisle began to tell Emmett's story. I was amazed at Rosalie's strength of mind; she was able to save Emmett from being mauled by a bear, and then carry his bleeding body over hundreds of miles so Carlisle could save him. Emmett kissed the top of her head and she closed her eyes softly.

Next to join the family were Alice and Jasper. They are the only two who hadn't been changed by Carlisle. Alice doesn't remember anything about her human life; she only knows that she awoke as a vampire with visions of Jasper and the Cullen family in her mind. After she found Jasper, they journeyed together to find the Cullen's and have stayed ever since.

Carlisle didn't tell much of Jasper's story. He did say that Jasper came from a different kind of life style than every one else. I wonder if he drank human blood. I also wonder about the scars covering his body. I recognize that it isn't my place to ask; just as I think Carlisle realized it wasn't his place to tell. I hope that Jasper will trust me enough to tell me his story one day.

I stop my train of thought right in its place. Why would Jasper trust me? Why should anybody in the family tell me their secrets when I obviously have so many that I'm not telling them? It's so hypocritical of me to think I can get answers without giving any myself.

One day? What does that mean? Do I want to stay around this family so long that I earn their trust? Yes. My brain answers for me in a heart-beat. I am terrified by that answer. I told myself that I would curb my curiosity about the Cullens so that I could leave with no regrets. I heard their story and I know everything I need to know. I should leave now and never look back. In fact I need to leave. I need to leave before they find out what I can do.

There is no way that I can prevent them from asking questions about me. They'll want to know my story before long. And I owe it to them. They told me their story, so I should tell them mine. I can't, though. I am terrified of the world finding out about my gift. Secrecy has been my lifestyle for so long that I don't know any other way to live.

A nagging thought in the back of my mind tells me that I can trust the Cullens. I try to ignore it, but it is very persistent. I saw their kindness and compassion and heard their inspiring stories. They share the same diet as me; they aren't cold-blooded murderers. I picture Edward's beautiful face and fiery touch. I see Alice's little bouncing form and knowing grin. More than ever before, I want to share my story with them.

I groan and bury my face in my pillow. This is very dangerous. I am starting to wish I had never come to Forks. I could be living peacefully, completely unaware of the amazing golden eyed family in this little rainy town. There's no turning back now, though.

After a long while I get bored of arguing with myself in my head and reliving my time in Forks. I decide I need something to distract myself. I climb out of bed and walk down the hall. The little yellow house I bought has two bedrooms. It's the perfect size for me. The moment I got here I converted the other bedroom into my studio.

Even as a human I found solace in art. When I became a vampire and no longer needed to sleep it became a way to pass the endless hours. After a while it became something that I looked forward to. Art is my escape.

I stand in front of my easel and pick up my brush. Just the feel of the wood in my hand relaxes me. This is just what I need. I place a canvas on the stand and mix up a pallet. My hand moves my brush automatically and soon my brain has all but shut off.

All I hear is the swift sound of my brush swiping over the canvas. All I see are colors and lines. All I smell is the sweet linseed oil and the comforting scent of oil paint.

I don't know how long I spent painting, but I do know that at one point the sun peaked over the horizon and began to illuminate my little studio.

At some point later in the day I take a deep breath and step back from my easel. I set down my pallet and wash out my brush. As is my routine, I clean everything up before reviewing my work. I don't usually think about what I want to paint; it just happens automatically. While I'm painting my brain is relaxed that I usually don't even know what I'm painting until I'm finished.

I slowly turn to face my painting. I gasp when I see it and my hand flies to my mouth. I stand completely still for a moment; only my eyes are moving, taking in every image.

The Cullens stare back at me. They are standing in a semi-circle with Carlisle at the back. His arms are spread, seeming to connect and contain each person. I look at Esme next, and am stunned at how motherly I made her look. Her arm is resting around Carlisle's waist and she has a very small smile on her face. Her eyes are twinkling. Jasper is standing next to Esme. He is standing in a slight shadow and has an unreadable expression. His arms are wound fiercely around Alice who is smiling hugely. Her form is a bit blurred, and even on canvas it looks like she's vibrating. Rosalie and Emmet are on the other side of Carlisle. Rosalie has a scowl on her face. Her anger seems so real that I automatically look away. Emmett is smiling and his dimples are showing. His muscles are flexed. Edward is standing closest to me. His eyes are bright gold and his mouth is pulled up on one side. His hand is stretched out; seeming to reach towards where I am standing. His hand is glowing as if energy and light are waiting to burst out.

My hand automatically reaches out and touches his on the canvas. My heart sinks when I feel no fire. I shake my head to clear my thoughts and grab the canvas. I spin it around and quickly set it against the wall so I can't see the image. I take a few shaking breaths and then leave the room. I close the door behind me, as if that will erase my painting.

Painting was supposed to be my way to relax and forget about the Cullens. All it did was make the memories surge forward at full force. I am so confused. I don't know what do or think.

Edward's face is in the forefront of my mind. When I left the Cullen's house, he walked me to my truck. He asked if he could see me this weekend and I said yes. I climbed into my truck and he hadn't said anything more so I pulled away. I felt his gaze on me the entire way down the driveway but I forced myself to look straight ahead. I wonder if I will see him soon. What will I say to him? Surely he will expect me to tell my story. I just can't do that.

My mind is going in circles again. I need something to distract me again since painting was an utter failure. I glance out the window. The sun is blocked by layers of angry gray clouds, but it's only drizzling lightly. Maybe some fresh air would do me good. I slip on some shoes and head to the front door.

I'm not really paying attention and I run into something very solid the moment I step out the door. My head knocks backward and I start to fall over. I probably would have hit the ground if a pair of hands didn't reach out and steady my waist. I know that it's Edward before I see him. The fire that explodes though me gives him away.

"Bella? Are you okay? I'm so sorry. Are you hurt?" he asks quickly. He sounds very anxious.

I chuckle softly. "I'm a vampire, remember? I'm fine, don't sweat it."

"Okay," he says, but then we lapse into silence. I notice that his hands are still on my waist. He notices it too and drops them to his sides. He shifts his feet a little bit. He's not looking at me. He seems nervous for some reason.

"Maybe we should just start over and pretend this didn't happen," I say. I turn around and walk back into my house. I close the door, but stand close by. After a few seconds I hear a few quiet taps. I open the door and pretend to be surprised. "Edward!" I say and step out side. I close the door behind me.

He smiles but still looks a little nervous. "Hi Bella. We didn't get the chance to make plans last night, so I didn't know if you still wanted to see me. I hope you don't mind that I came over. I can leave if you want."

"Relax, Edward," I say. He takes a deep breath and I continue, "I told you I wanted to see you."

"Okay," he says and I'm glad to see he doesn't look nervous anymore. "So where were you headed when we collided?"

"Shhh," I say, and look around. "We're supposed to be pretending that didn't happen." He laughs quietly and nods. I continue, "If you must know, I was planning on going for a little run."

"Oh, well don't let me ruin your plans," he says. He turns around and starts to walk down the steps on my porch.

I know I should let him go so I don't have to worry about secrets and what not, but the fire is disappearing more and more with each step he takes. I want it back. "Edward? Do you want to come?"

His answering smile sparkles so much I wish I had some sunglasses. He nods so I hop off the porch. We walk silently side-by-side. My hand is itching to reach out and grab his so I tuck it in my pocket.

When we reach the edge of the woods, I slip off my shoes and break into a run. It's completely dry in the forest; the trees are like a giant umbrella. It takes Edward a few seconds to catch up but soon he's by my side again.

I have always loved running. It clears my mind almost as well as painting. The wind rushing through my hair and the forest floor meeting my feet are familiar and comforting. I spent the beginning years of my life alone in the forest, so I feel at home in the trees.

Edward looks over at me. His eyes seem challenging. Before I realize what's happening he is ten feet in front of me. It looks like he wants to race. I channel some fire into the muscles in my legs and take off in a burst of speed. We are even again and he looks surprised. I imagine that he doesn't usually find vampires who can match his speed; he is very fast. He bends forward slightly and pushes his legs even faster. I know I could use more fire to make myself go faster, but I decide to take to the trees instead.

With a giant leap I am bounding across stretches of open air. My feet barely brush the branches of the trees before I push off again. Sometimes I grab a tree limb with my hands and swing my body forward. When I am almost horizontal I let go and flip a couple times before finding another branch. For some reason I have always been faster in the air than I am on the ground.

I look back after a couple minutes and see that Edward is way behind me. I stop on the branch I am on and lean against the tree trunk. Edward reaches me after a couple seconds and stands at the base of the tree. He folds his arms and tries to look stony but he can't stop his eyes from sparkling.

"You cheated," he says. I think he means to sound firm but his voice is a little breathy.

"You never named the rules."

He grumbles and jumps up onto the branch with me. I didn't expect it so I gasp a little bit and almost fall out of the tree. I right myself and realize that he's laughing at me.

"How is it that you can flip through the trees with grace that a gymnast would die for, but you almost fall when you're standing still?" he asks.

I decide not to answer and instead scowl at him. I jump off the tree and head back the way we came without looking back. He catches up to me after a few steps and he's still giggling like a little girl. I ignore him.

When he finally stops laughing he starts to talk. I brace myself for the worse, but his question is not what I expected. "Why did you take off your shoes?"

I glance down at my feet, "I like the feeling of the earth between my toes."

He stops suddenly. I turn around to ask him why, but he's bent over. When he stands up he tosses his shoes over his shoulder. He walks around a bit. "You're right, it is better this way."

I shrug and we start walking again. There is so much I want to ask him, but I'm scared that he'll ask about me in return. I really don't want to lie to him.

"It's so quiet around you," he whispers and I furrow my brows.

"I'm not a very talkative person," I say.

"It's not only that, which by the way I happen to like. Too many people find the need to fill every silence with meaningless words. I can't hear anything from you. I am so used to hearing people's thoughts even if they aren't speaking. All I hear from you is silence. It's rather refreshing."

"I don't think I would like to hear what people are thinking," I say.

"Sometimes it's really useful, but most of the time I feel the same way."

"Well, why don't you just block it then," I say. It seems to me that if he didn't what to hear the voices in his head he would just block them out.

He looks at me strangely. "What do you mean?"

"You know, just turn off the voices."

"I can't. I can tune them out a bit, but they never go away completely," he says. I feel kind of bad for him. Seeing as his gift is so prominent, it would be so easy to find the part of his brain that gives him access to the thoughts around him. My gifts were the first things I learned to control. I wish I could tell him how without giving away too much about myself.

I answer with a noncommittal mumble. He looks at me intently with an expression I can't even begin to decipher. He starts to say something but then shakes his head as if deciding against it. We walk in silence again. It's not awkward, though, it's peaceful.

Edward's voice interrupts the quiet after a while. I don't mind at all. His melodious voice is more peaceful than silence. "Bella, don't you get lonely?"

I wonder what brought on this question, but I answer anyway, "The main reason I started going to high school again was because I craved interaction with people. I don't mind solitude, really, but after a while it just started to wear on me."

"You said you lived in a forest in 1901. How long did you live there? Were you alone the whole time?" he asks. I'm surprised he connected the dots between the forest and loneliness.

"I lived there for around twenty years. I wasn't really keeping track. And yes, I was all alone."

He furrows his brows. I notice that he does that a lot. "Why? Why did you live alone for so long?"

"I didn't know any better. The man who changed me told me next to nothing about what I would soon become. When I awoke after the burning he was gone. I never saw him again. All I knew about vampires was what I had read in books. I didn't want to be a murderer. I was terrified that if I got close to humans I would turn into a bloodthirsty monster."

Edward doesn't say anything. After a few seconds I glance up at him. His beautiful lips are pressed together in a tight line, and his eyes look dreadfully sad. "I'm so sorry you had to go through with that, Bella. I wish…I don't know what I wish, but I can't imagine a creature so vile that he could leave you like that."

His concern makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. I grab his hand and smile softly at him. "Thank you, but really its okay. I needed those years of solitude anyway."

His expression clears a little bit and we keep walking. I make to drop his hand, but he squeezes mine tighter.

We walk the rest of the way back to my house hand-in-hand. I bask in the fire from his touch the whole way, wishing he would never have to let go. Apparently luck isn't on my side today because my wish doesn't come true. He drops my hand when we reach my porch and tells me that he should head home.

I nod, probably sadly, but I can't control it, and tell him I'll see him at school. He lifts his hand and brushes his fingertips from my temple to my chin, leaving a path of flames surging beneath my skin. He turns away without another word and I watch his beautiful penny-colored head fade into the distance.


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

I hate Mondays. I don't actually know why, though. Maybe I've spent too much time around humans who act like Mondays are the bane of their existence. Maybe it's just the sound of the word. It's like nails on a chalkboard. Monday. Ugh.

It doesn't help that I spent the better part of Sunday thinking about the Cullens. Against my will, of course. There are so many questions piled up in my mind that I feel like I need a secretary to sort them all out. I pause for a moment and think about how much easier my life would be if I could have a little person running around my brain, managing all my thoughts for me. Then I realize that that little person would have to have a little brain with its own little secretary to manage its thoughts. I picture a never-ending line of miniature secretaries with miniature brains. I shake my head and focus on the present.

Monday. Ugh. I coax my truck to a parking space it probably shouldn't fit into. I kill the engine and hop out into the flood zone. I swear this place gets rainier the longer I'm here. Maybe it's because it's Monday.

In between my bordering-on-fanatic thoughts about the Cullens this weekend, I decided that I need to step up the human façade. This was made painfully obvious when the only semi-interesting thing I did, besides running with Edward, was to reorganize the trinkets on my bookshelf. Maybe semi-interesting is pushing it. Anyway, when I see Jessica's fuzzy head walking with Angela a couple feet in front of me, I call out to them.

They look rather shocked to see me, and I hope it's not because they're scared I'm going to suck their blood.

Angela recovers first and waves shyly at me.

Jessica snaps out of it too and smiles. "Hey Bella, how was your weekend?" she asks.

She says exactly what I want her to say and I mentally pat myself on the back. I slump my shoulders just slightly and sigh very quietly. "I suppose it was okay. Rather boring, actually. I don't know of anything to do around here."

I was probably a bit overdramatic, but it worked because Jessica lights up and becomes suddenly animated. Alice's face flashes into my mind. I think the two would get along. She starts rambling about Port Angeles and First Beach and a bunch of other places I would much rather see than hear about. In the end, she suggests that we drive over there tonight and see a movie or something. She starts talking about getting a big group together and I smile and tell her that would be great. It's just what I need.

Angela groans, though, and we both turn to her. "You guys will have to go without me. I have a C in Calculus and my mom thinks it helps to quarantine me in my room every night to study." She rolls her eyes, "It doesn't help if I don't get what I'm studying."

Jessica snorts a little bit in annoyance and says that we'll just do it another day.

"I could help you if you want," I offer. "I'm pretty good with math."

"Really?" Angela intones sounding very hopeful. Then she shakes her head, "No I wouldn't want to subject you to my issues with integrals. I swear calculus is my nemesis."

I chuckle and tell her that I really don't mind. She thanks me a million times. We decide that I'll just follow her home after school. We invite Jessica, but she barks a laugh and says she'll wait for the Port Angeles outing.

By this point, I've reached my first class. I wave to Jessica and Angela and tell them I'll see them at lunch.

I've barely made it passed the threshold when I'm ambushed by an angry little pixie. She's jabbering at me in a very high-pitched voice. I hold up my palms and take a few steps back.

"Whoa there, Alice. Only dolphins can hear you now. Take a breath and start over. I take it you're angry about something? Wait. You're not ever in this class. What are you doing here?" I ask with a raise of my brow.

She waves off my last statements with a flick of her hand. "I switched in. We also have American Studies together." Suddenly her bottom lip protrudes and her eyes get really big. She looks like a kid whose balloon just escaped and disappeared into the sky. "Bella," she says, "I want to show you around Port Angeles."

"Right, well you still can. You can come with us if you want. Jessica was talking about getting a big group together." I say.

She looks mollified by this and I am very glad. Sad Alice just makes me sad. "Fine, but next time we're going just you and me. We have a lot to talk about," she says sharply.

I gulp as her words send a spike of fear shooting through me, but she doesn't seem to notice. She drags me to my seat and plops down in the one next to me. I am too distracted by her previous words to wonder how she managed to switch into my class, and coerce the teacher into giving her the seat right next to me. My mind automatically thinks up the worst possible things she could talk to me about. She wants to know what my gift is. She is for some reason able to see my future and my past.

She interrupts my train of thought, "Relax, Bella. It's just girl talk. I'm not asking you to confess to a murder."

She must have seen the fear on my face. I am simultaneously relieved and terrified by what she said. At least she doesn't want to know what I can't tell her. Girl talk I can handle. But her words also have me squirming. I force down the wall to block painful memories. I reinforce it a few times just to make sure there are no holes.

She is looking at me strangely. "You sure are weird," she says, but there is humor and friendliness is her voice. I roll my eyes and stick out my tongue at her.

She doesn't have time to retort because the teacher starts to lecture. At one point she whispers something to me, but I hold a finger to my lips and point to my notes. She grumbles. I wink at her and finish taking unnecessary notes.

By the time Chemistry rolls around I have decided that Mondays should be officially illegal. I didn't see anyone at lunch because I had to finish a project in the library. It was inane, really, I was alive during the depression; I shouldn't have to research it. Half of the information in the book was wrong anyway.

Anyway, I'm not in the best mood when I walk into class. I plop down in my seat and bury my face in my arms. It's a habit I picked up from humans who actually need the rest, but for some reason its comforting to hide for a little while.

I feel Edward walk into class and the fire instantly makes my mood a little better. I'm curious to find out where we stand after Saturday. I look up and notice that his scowling expression matches mine. "Bad day?" I ask when he reaches our table. He nods and grimaces. "That makes two of us," I say with a sigh.

"What's wrong?" he asks.

"Monday. Who invented Monday anyway? I wish I could go back in time and meet Mr. Monday. He better have a good excuse, or he wouldn't live to see another one of his stupid days," I say.

"What's wrong with Monday?" he asks, as if he is personally offended by my hatred of this idiotic day.

"What's right with Monday?" I counter.

He murmurs something that sounds an awful lot like "impossible", but doesn't answer. The teacher starts to explain the lab we're about to do so I lower my voice to a whisper.

"What's got you down in the dumps?" I ask.

"Rosalie," he says in a very angry tone. It's like he spits the word.

I have no idea why he would be so mad at her, and I'm about to ask him when I get severely distracted.

All around the room lab groups are lighting their Bunsen burners. I freeze in my seat.

Bunsen burners are a source of endless fire. I could pull the pure energy into my body for as long as I wanted and it would never diminish. I can practically feel myself being pulled toward the flames. It's like the song of the siren, and resisting it is torture. I can feel the heat emaciating from each flame around the room. There are about ten of the Bunsen Burners blazing.

I long with all my heart to give into my instincts, to let my hand reach out to the flame, to invite them onto my skin, to watch them twist and dance along the barrier that protects me from harm, and finally to feel invigorated and warm as they disappear inside of me.

Part of my brain registers that Edward is about to light our Bunsen burner; the one that is less than two feet in front of me; the one that would be nearly impossible to resist. I want to stop him. I need to stop him, but I can't. If I unlock any of my muscles, even the miniscule muscles of my mouth, I fear I will loose control. All I can do is lock myself down even tighter and pray that I have enough strength to resist the irresistible.

I watch helplessly, frozen, as he reaches out his beautiful hand and uses the striker to send sparks onto the gas. The fire ignites. I lurch forward an inch or two before I can make myself stop. My body is screaming at me to let go, to deal with the consequences later. Had I not had so much practice with control, I would not be capable of rational thought. As it were, control has never been this hard. I literally cannot move. If I move, I will loose it.

Edward notices my reaction and instantly reaches out for me. He puts both hand on my shoulders and looks straight into my eyes.

I feel the fire from his touch and the spark from his gaze, and instead of making it worse, I gain more control. His fire gives me something to focus on, something that is just as strong as the lure from the burner. I can control his fire though. It smolders rather than rages. The desperate urge for more is there, but it doesn't try to control me.

He is talking to me, but I can't pick up the words. I am focused completely on his touch and on his eyes.

He lifts one hand off my shoulder, but grips me tighter with the other one. My hands reach out of their own accord and grab onto the hand that is still touching me. I need the contact. I need more control.

I don't notice what he's doing, but I do notice when the Bunsen burner gets turned off. I slump partially in my seat in relief. I still have my muscles under control and Edwards hand in mine to resist the fire of the other burners, but it's just slight pain compared to the previous torture. I can finally recognize what is happening around me.

Thank goodness our table is at the back of the room, because no one but Edward noticed my reaction. He is calling the teacher over, and I have enough control that I am able to relax a bit so I don't look like a statue. He swiftly tells the teacher that I'm not feeling well, and that he is going to take me to the nurse. The teacher takes one look at me and tells him to hurry.

He puts his arm around my waist and gently pulls me to my feet. With the added contact, it is easy to focus just on Edward. I walk with him slowly out the door.

The door clicks closed behind us, and with it I regain complete control. I still feel the lingering need to go back in and take all the energy I can hold, but I push it away.

I feel completely drained. Never before have I had to use so much brain power and energy. I sway on my feet and lean back against the wall. My legs can barely hold me up.

Edward swoops down and before I realize what he is doing, I am cradled against his chest. One of his arms is underneath my knees and the other is around my back. My head is resting against his shoulder. I've never been this close to him. With the proximity comes a sudden burst of energy. His touch sends much needed fire shooting through my body. I don't feel totally renewed, but I feel strong again at least.

I can't help myself, and I snuggle closer into his stony body. I hear some doors open and the gasps of a few humans. I think we're in the health room. Edward quickly spins a story about how I fainted in chemistry. The nurses try to get him to set me down so they can take care of me. I grip him tighter. He unleashes his charm on the nurses, and the poor ladies never had a chance. In a matter of seconds he is leaving the office with me in his arms and a note excusing us from class.

I hear him rustle in his pocket and pull out a set of keys. He unlocks the door of his Volvo and slides inside, with me still in his arms. I feel practically normal now, but I can't make myself let go of him.

He doesn't say anything for a few minutes. I'm grateful; I know he must be freaked out. Eventually I unlock my arms from their death grip around him and sit up. I hesitantly look in his eyes, expecting to see fear or some other awful emotion. Instead all I see is concern. Concern is so present in his golden eyes, it's practically leaking out of them. He really is an amazing vampire.

"Thank you," I whisper. I can't think of anything else to say. I pour all my gratitude into my words.

He stares at me intently, but stays silent for a little while longer. "What happened?" he asks eventually.

"It was the fire," I say.

"I wouldn't have let it hurt you," he says. I realize that he must think I am afraid of fire. It makes sense. Fire is the single enemy of vampires. Vampires can be torn into unrecognizable pieces and still put themselves back together again. The only way to kill a vampire is to burn it. I almost want to laugh at how far away his guess really is. If only he knew. I am the exact opposite of afraid of fire; I am so irresistibly drawn to it that resisting is painful. I can't tell him though. I want to, especially after today. The fear of what would happen if the world knew about my gift is the only thing keeping me from spilling my guts to this beautiful boy.

"I know," I answer. It's true. I know he wouldn't have let it hurt me; he saved me from loosing control.

"I'm not going to ask you to explain. I know how much you hate to give anything away. I just want you to know that if you want to talk, I'm here," he says quietly.

I am really touched by his words. His truly is the kindest soul I have ever come across. With his gift, it must be hard for him to not get answers that he wants. I do wish that I could talk to him, I really do, but I know I can't. I don't answer, and I think he sees in my eyes that I'm not going to. He nods.

We sit in comfortable silence for a few minutes. I lean my head back onto his shoulder and take a deep breath. He smells like every single good smell in the world combined. I smell mint, flowers, fresh air, and a million other perfect aromas that I have no name for.

The bell rings in the distance and startles us both. Students start pouring out of the doors in giant mobs. I step out of Edward's car and he joins me. I lean against the side of the door. I spot little Alice in the crowd. She looks like she's trying with all her might to drag Jasper faster through the lot. He's taking his merry time looking around and pretending he doesn't notice the persistent tugging on his arm. I point them out to Edward and we both start cracking up. It feels good to laugh. I think I needed something to lighten the mood.

Alice finally makes it over to us, and she looks rather puzzled. "You're okay? What happened in Chemistry?" she asks.

"I thought you couldn't see Bella," says Edward.

"I can't," the little sprite replies, "but I can see you, Edward, and I want to know what happened."

Edward glances at me, wondering what I want to tell her, I guess.

"It was nothing really," I say, "I'm just having a bad day. It's because it's Monday. This day is out to get me, I know it."

She looks like she wants to say more, but Edward stifles her with a look. Jasper is gazing at Edward very intently. His brows are furrowed like he is trying to figure out how to solve world hunger. Edward nods and Jasper's eyes get so wide I can see white above and below his golden irises. I want to ask Edward what he's thinking, but Alice interrupts my chain of thought.

"So, Bella!" says Alice, "Are you coming over again tonight?"

She looks so excited that I have a hard time telling her no. Not to mention the fact that I feel like Jasper would happily beat me up if I upset her. It's not like he actually could, but I don't want to make a scene.

"Sorry, Alice, I already made plans with Angela," I say softly.

Her bottom lip protrudes and I automatically close my eyes. "Pull that lip back in, Pixie. You're not going to change my mind."

She grumbles, but relents.

"Why would you want to spend time with a human?" asks Jasper.

"Well, normal schools don't have seven vampires that I can hang out with, so I've learned to make do with humans," I say.

He mumbles, "Mutant". I pretend I don't hear him. Rosalie and Emmet are making there way towards us. I notice that Rosalie is glaring at me we all her might. It actually scares me a little bit. I have no idea how one vampire can have so much angst. Maybe it's her gift.

"Maybe I should just go," I whisper to Edward.

"That might be a good idea," he replies.

So, with a quick wave to Alice and a swipe of my hand across Edwards shoulder for one last burst of fire, I speed walk to other side of the parking lot and find Angela. As I follow her red minivan out of the parking lot, I look back at the Cullens. Rosalie is right up in Edwards face, but he doesn't seem to be paying her any attention. He is turned in my direction, following my path with his eyes. His expression is unreadable, but his eyes look almost determined. Our eyes meet for an immeasurable second. I turn back towards the road, but inside I am dying to go back to him and his glorious fire and find out what in the world he is thinking.


	7. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

By the time Friday rolls around, I'm thanking my lucky stars that the weekend is just around the corner. I can say that this is without a doubt that the most tiring school I have ever been to, and it's not even because of the constant gray skies and dreary weather, thought that certainly plays an important role.

It all started on Tuesday at lunch. I walked into the cafeteria with Jessica and headed to her table, just like I did the first day. Everything was fine and good. But then I glanced up at the Cullens. Alice was pouting, and it wasn't even a little I-just-want-to-get-my-way pout, she actually looked sad. Jasper of course was glaring at me because for some reason Alice was sad and apparently it was my fault. Edward, though I think he was trying to hide it, looked like someone just knocked his two-scoop chocolate ice-cream cone onto the ground.

I noticed that the Cullens were awkwardly spaced out around the table. Alice and Jasper were sitting together, as usual, but Edward wasn't sitting across from them. He was sitting on the same side as them, and there was an awkward Bella-sized amount of space between him and the little pixie.

I felt really bad because I obviously didn't pick the humans over the Cullens, I just didn't think about it. I also didn't want to ditch Jess and Angela, though, because I like them too. Especially Angela; we had a surprisingly good time tackling her math homework together the night before. Plus, her twin brothers are the cutest little snot-nosed menaces I've ever seen. I've always had a soft spot for tots.

About halfway through lunch I made my excuses to the humans, and headed over to the vampire side of the room. It took a bit a groveling and a promise to Alice that she could take me shopping, but eventually everyone was happy again.

At least I thought everyone was happy, until my next class. Jessica, Mike and a few other kids from lunch are in that class. They spent the entire hour and a half trying to convince me not to hang around the Cullens. Their primary argument was the fact that they are all together, "like couples together", in Jessica's words, and they live together. I guess if you didn't know they are mated vampires it would seem a little creepy.

When I didn't show the proper amount of shock they started feeding me theories about how Doctor Cullen gave them all plastic surgery when he adopted them and that's why they look so eerily perfect. I scoffed and tried to change the subject, but they were very persistent. I was kind of mad at first, and stood up for them, but after a while I couldn't help but laugh at some of the ridiculous things they came up with.

One theory actually involved a meticulously planned alien invasion. I obviously have a hard time believing that the Cullens are extraterrestrial beings trying to take over the world and create a race of pale, beautiful people, but I couldn't find it in me to deny them. At one point I actually may have contributed to a theory involving Emmett and a government experiment with steroids gone wrong. I like to pretend that didn't happen.

I know the humans were just a bit jealous because, whether they admit it or not, they all at one point wished the Cullens would invite them into their exclusive little posse. I don't really get why the Cullen's isolate themselves so much anyway. What's the point suffering through high school if not for human interaction?

I considered inviting Edward and Alice to come sit with me at lunch, but then I realized that Jasper would never let Alice go alone, and I wouldn't want him to suffer needlessly. At least he has an excuse for keeping his distance; he alone seems to have trouble controlling his desire for human blood.

One of the only good things about this week has been Chemistry. I definitely spent a good couple of hours worrying about how Edward would act around me after the Bunsen burner incident. It turns out all that worrying was just a waste of my time. If anything, we became closer after that day. Each day in class we write notes back and forth or whisper to each other while the teacher is lecturing. He is surprisingly okay with how little I share about my past, instead he always questions me about he little things, like my favorite flower or my stance on global warming.

The spark that connects us like a live wire grows stronger the more time I spend around him. By the end of the week I have to sit on my hands to keep them from reaching out to him. I'm not oblivious to the fact that my feelings for him are far from platonic, but I try not to think about it much. I have more than enough to worry about as is.

Anyway, I spent the majority of the week skirting the edges of both worlds; trying to fuse them together with the success of mixing oil and water.

Any extra time I had I spent dodging Rosalie's evil glares, which were a couple watts below laser status by the end of the week, and Emmett's persistent questioning about my eyes or my eating habits. There are only so many ways to change the topic, and I think everyone is getting a bit suspicious of me. Today I had to resort to faking that I was choking on a piece of lettuce to avoid giving answers.

It's been over a week now that I've been here, and it's obvious, much to my dismay, that I'm not going to be able to make myself leave. Since there is no way I can avoid the Cullens forever, I am left with one option. I have to tell them about myself.

Once I come to terms with this inescapable truth, I start to plan. I start sorting my past and all my abilities into Cullen-friendly topics and topics that need to stay locked tight in the recesses of my mind. Any part of my human life goes straight to the no pile, but there are actually some things that I wouldn't mind sharing. Dare I say it, but I'm actually excited to tell them about myself.

So when Alice invites me over to their house after school on Friday, I nod and watch her light up like a Christmas tree. I tell her that I'm going to stop by my house first, but that I'll be over in less than an hour. She says that I have twenty minutes.

I don't actually need to stop by my house, but I wanted a little bit of time to compose myself before facing the Cullens. After about fifteen minutes of pacing back and forth in my kitchen, thinking about the all the things that could go wrong, I decide that trying to compose myself turned out to be an epic fail.

I hop in Big Red and start the ignition. It comes to life with an almighty roar. Outside the safety of my truck, the sky has opened up and is dumping sheets of water onto the little town of Forks. I flick the lever for the windshield wipers and nothing happens. I try again. Nothing. I flick it back and forth stubbornly about a hundred times, refusing to believe that my faithful truck is breaking down. When that doesn't work, I cross my arms and stare at it for a while, hoping that maybe if I want it enough I can make it work.

Now, in any other town, broken windshield wipers wouldn't be a big deal, but it's Fork's we're talking about. I wonder for the millionth time why I chose to live in the tear duct of the United States.

A quick glance at the clock tells me that I'm already more than ten minutes past Alice's deadline. Picturing her angry little face is more than enough to get me out from the shelter of Big Red.

After about five seconds of standing in the rain, I am thoroughly soaked through. Since there is no way I could get any wetter, I decide just to run to the Cullens.

Running in the rain is not nearly as fun as it sounds. The droplets of water hit me like bullets when I start to gain speed. Every step I take kicks up a tidal wave of water, making it hard to see five feet in front of me. Rivers are running down my head and over my ears. All I hear is the sound of rushing water.

I find the Cullen's house more by memory than by actual sight. It's a wonder I didn't take a wrong turn and end up in the Pacific Ocean. At times I thought I had.

But I do make it there eventually, and I rejoice when I make it under the shelter of their little porch.

I stand for a couple moments and let the majority of the water cascade off me in giant waterfalls. When I'm not completely drenched anymore, I knock on the door. I realize that I probably look about as attractive as a drowned cat, but I'm so anxious to get inside that I can't find it in me to care.

Alice answers the door in about three milliseconds. She is yelling at me even as she opens the door, but her words cut off right when she sees me. Emmett joins her in the doorway and starts laughing huge booming laughs.

"What did you do, swim here?" he asks between fits of laughter. I glare at him. I really wish I could burn him. Not all the way, but maybe just a little bit. Just a finger or two. Just to scare him. Somehow I restrain myself.

I go to step inside, but Alice starts freaking out. I can't really make out what she's saying, but I do gather that I'm not allowed inside. What an excellent start to the evening. She scurries her little self up stairs to find me some clothes, I hope.

Emmett is still laughing at me, the smug idiot. I snap my head down in a motion so quick it was probably close to invisible. I feel my hair whip through the air. I hear his gasp, so I look up and see that the front of his shirt is completely soaked with the water from my hair. Now I'm the one with the smug smile.

He looks like he's about to charge me, so I back up a few steps. I really hope he doesn't attack me; that would make my life so much more difficult than it needs to be. Thankfully, Edward's glorious hand grabs onto the back of Emmett's shirt. He pokes his head around the doorway.

"Hey, Be… Whoa, what happened?" he asks. I can hear that he is trying very hard not to laugh.

"My windshield wipers broke," I grumble angrily.

"Right, so then you poured two thousand gallons of water over your head. It all makes sense now."

"No, smart guy, I ran here," I say. If he wasn't so darn beautiful he would be in serious danger right now. "Can you make yourself useful and go find out what is taking the pixie so long?"

He chuckles and smiles that stupid beautiful smile. How am I supposed to stay mad at him when he smiles like that? I glare at his back as he trots up the stairs to find his sister.

Mercifully, they come back down after a few seconds. Alice has a little pile of clothes in her arms. She hands them to me and I unfold them. For some reason she gave me a baseball jersey and some leggings.

"Not to be rude or anything, but don't you just have some jeans and a t-shirt?"

She rolls her eyes, "Just put it on." I guess I still look skeptical because she pouts and says, "I can't believe you doubt me, Bella." When I still don't move to put on the clothes she crosses her arms and grumbles at me. "Either put on the clothes, or stand out there dripping wet for the rest of the night; it's your call," she says as she steps inside and closes the door.

I grumble to myself as I strip down and pull on the clothes. As I slide the jersey over my head, I get waft of Edward's glorious scent. I pull it close to my face and breathe in a few times. I wonder if it's Edward's jersey. I am suddenly happy about Alice's choice of clothes for me.

I quickly pull my hair back into a French braid and tie the end with a rubber band. I already feel a million times better. I don't know if I should knock again; I took etiquette classes as a human, but they never covered what to do if you have just finished changing clothes on the porch of the house where seven vampires live. At the moment it seems like a serious fault in the curriculum.

After a few moments hesitation, I decide to just walk in. I peek into the foyer, but it's completely empty. I close the door behind me and the sound echoes through the space. I hear voices coming from the family room so I make my way over the polished wood floors towards the source of the noise.

I pause just before I'm about to push open the door. If I'm going to tell the Cullen's about myself anyway, I might as well have some fun with it. I take a deep breath and close my eyes. I block out noise and focus on the cells that make up the irises of my eyes. I tell my brain to alter them and I feel them slowly changing.

After a few seconds I nod to myself and stride into the room. I make sure to glance at each vampire in the room so they have the chance to see my eyes. I ignore the fact that they all now resemble ice cubes, and plop down on the couch next to Edward.

Emmett is the only other vampire that isn't frozen. He tilts his head and seems to study me intently.

"Is there something different about her, you guys?" he asks. When no one answers he looks around at their frozen forms. His face looks even more confused. He turns back to me. "What did you do to them Bella?" he asks with a chuckle. I just grin and shrug. He studies me again. When he finally realizes what it is that's different about me he lets out a very high pitched yelp and almost falls out of his chair. I burst out laughing.

My laughter seems to unfreeze Edward, and he spins to face me with an unreadable expression. His mouth is wide open; I wonder if he realizes it.

"Bella, please tell me I'm not loosing it. I swear your eyes were purple less than five minutes ago and now they are bright green. Are you wearing contacts or something?" He moves close to me and peers intently into my eyes. I smile at the fire from his gaze. He puts his hand on his forehead and groans. "No contacts. I am loosing it."

I feel kind of bad for him, but not enough to keep me from laughing at his expression.

I feel like I'm in a fairy tale when the statues around the room begin to unfreeze one-by-one. Carlisle especially looks rather animated; it's a stark contrast to his previously stony appearance.

"How did you change your eye color like that, Bella?" asks Jasper skeptically.

"The brain is a very powerful thing," I say softly.

"Could you possibly elaborate on that, dear?" asks Carlisle.

"The brain is constantly controlling every single cell in the body. Only a tiny portion is devoted to conscious thought and movement. As a human, I learned small amounts of control. I became familiar with the part of my brain that controls my emotions and my reactions to the emotions. Emotions are remarkable. They are capable of overriding conscious thought. After years of practice, I was able to expand the part of my brain that pertains to conscious thought to include the part that controls my emotions. As a vampire, my brain is infinitely more intelligent. It was relatively easy to learn what each section of my brain does, and to learn to manipulate them intentionally," I say.

"So you actually alter the cells in you're eyes?" asks Carlisle, his voice full of wonder. I nod in affirmation.

Rosalie snaps her head toward me. For the first time, probably ever, she isn't glaring at me. "Could you change the other cells in your body too? You could make yourself human again," she says, but I'm shaking my head before she has even finished.

"No, trust me, every single other cell in our bodies is frozen in time," I say. She glares at me again, but in the moment before she slid her mask back on, I saw pure defeat in her eyes. I'm starting to think she might be a good person under her layers of ice and angst.

"What is it about the eyes then that make them different?" asks Edward. It takes me a moment to answer because his beautiful voice catches me off guard.

"In a human body, cells are constantly changing- multiplying, dying, or adapting. It is a completely subconscious action for the brain to tell the cells adjust. Every cell except the eyes, however. The eyes are a constant, after a certain point, they stop changing.

"When a vampire's venom enters the blood stream of a human, it sweeps through and alters every single cell. It freezes them in time, so they never die of age or get destroyed. The cells in the eyes are already frozen, though. So I think the venom alters them in a different way. Have you ever wondered why a vampire's eyes are constantly changing from either gold to black or red to black? Have you ever wondered how they can change so easily when the rest of the body is basically a stone?

"I think that instead of freezing the cells in the eyes, the venom makes them more pliable; easier to alter. They are very easily manipulated, so I take advantage of it." I let out my breath in a whoosh when I finish talking. As a normally introverted person, I don't think I've ever talked this much. It's rather disconcerting.

"Prove it," demands Emmett. He sounds like he doesn't believe me. Based on the skeptical looks on most of the other vampires in the room, I'd say they don't believe me either.

I smirk at him and slide my eyes shut. I decide to go with my true eye color this time. I open my eyes after another moment and look squarely at each person. Esme and Carlisle gasp, Alice screeches, Jaspers eyes become saucers, Rosalie glares at me, Emmett grins and claps, and Edward smolders me with a look so heavy I can't even begin to decipher it. I close my eyes and change my eyes back from their natural gold to my preferred purple.

"Is mind control your gift?" asks Alice. "Is that why I can't see you, because you won't let me in?"

"No, it isn't my gift, anyone could do the things I can do with practice. And no, it isn't why you can't see me either," I say.

She pouts a little bit. "Well, then why can't I?" she whines.

This is one of the topics that I decided would be okay to share. They already know that I can block them, anyway, they just don't know why. I still feel anxious about telling my secrets, though. It's hard to change after almost a century. I start to speak hesitantly, "My mind is completely protected from the gifts of vampires. I guess you could call it a shield."

"A mental shield," whispers Carlisle. "I have heard of vampires with blocking powers, but never any as complete and powerful as yours."

He doesn't even know the half of it. The mental shield is my least powerful gift. I just shrug my shoulders.

Carlisle looks like he wants to say more, but then Alice freezes in her seat. Everyone turns to face her as her eyes glaze over. It still freaks me out a little, but at least I know what's going on.

After a few seconds she claps her hands and starts bouncing again. Either she's excited or she secretly ate some Mexican Jumping Beans.

"What's got you in such a tizzy, Pixie-chick?" I ask.

"Baseball!" she screeches. I look confused, but everyone else looks suddenly animated.

"Do you guys often get excited about inanimate objects?" I question. I'm starting to question their sanity.

"No silly, tonight we're going to play baseball!" she says.

"You do realize that it's monsoon season out there. Unless you're planning on swimming between bases, I don't see that happening," I say. There is no way I'm running through that again.

"Haven't you learned to trust me yet Bella?" she asks, seemingly exasperated.

I am just about to answer when I realize that no one is listening to me. The Cullens are all dashing up stairs, I guess to change for baseball. At least now my attire makes sense. I flop back onto the fluffy pillows on the couch and close my eyes. Keeping up with this family can sure wear a vampire out.


	8. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

I stand still for a moment when we enter the clearing. The other Cullens move past me and begin to set up the bases. I am transfixed by the subtle beauty in front of me. Towering gray mountains and trees I couldn't even fit my arms around frame the expanse of grass and small flowers in which we stand. I tilt my head and gaze at the inky black sky that stretches on as far as my eyes can see. I hear thunder rumbling in the distance, but it's dry where we are. Alice was right. I slip off the shoes she gave me. The grass sways across my ankles and tickles my toes.

"Come on you pansy! Stop looking at the stars, and play some baseball!" shouts Emmett from across the field. I glare at him but make my way over anyway. We all met in a circle in the middle of the field.

"Okay," starts Emmett. "Esme is referee. Bella will take Carlisle's place since he had to go fix people." A couple minutes before we left Carlisle got an urgent call from the hospital. He ran out the door before we could even ask him what happened.

"I'd rather sit out actually. I've only ever watched baseball on TV," I say hesitantly. Everyone looks at me incredulously.

"Well tough cookies, the teams are uneven without you. You're a bright one; you'll catch on," says Emmett with a shrug. Everyone disperses and I follow Alice and Jasper helplessly. I wish I could at least be on the same team as Edward. I can barely feel the extra fire with him standing so far out in the outfield. I tell myself to suck it up.

Jasper is up to bat first. Emmett is pitching, Rosalie is catching, and I am standing as far back as possible. I can already tell from the space between all the bases that this will be no ordinary game of baseball.

Emmett's muscles looking menacing from where I'm standing, and I think the bat must have to be very tough to survive his throw. Sure enough, his pitching technique relies solely on strength. He throws it so fast and so hard that Jasper misses the first one. It lands with a deafening smack in Rosalie's palms.

Jasper manages to hit the next one, and sends the ball in a low grounder towards third base. He makes it to first before Edward gets to the ball. I already know that Edward is fast, but it's still amazing to watch.

Too soon for my liking, it's my turn to bat. Alice is on second base and Jasper is on third. I force away my nerves as I step up to the plate. I've watched enough baseball to know where I should place my feet and how I should hold the bat.

I take a deep breath and focus my mind. I concentrate some fire into my arms, giving them extra power. I tune out everything but the ball in Emmett's hand.

With a sly grin he pitches it to me. I can tell he didn't throw as hard as he did with Jasper and Alice. It makes me mad. I channel more power into my limbs. With my mind focused, it is as if the ball is coming toward me in slow motion. At exactly the right second, I swing the bat with all the strength I can muster. The noise is so loud it makes me cringe. Everyone freezes as they watch it soar over the tops of the mountains and disappear on the other side.

I quickly transfer the fire into my legs and sprint around the bases. I decide not to run as fast as possible, but I still make it around the bases in a few short seconds. I feel the wind whipping through my hair and the ground meeting my pounding feet. When I reach home plate, I want to keep running. Instead, I skid to a graceful stop and tame my tangled hair with my hands.

The Cullens all turn to me in silent awe. I glance down at the bat. It is bent at almost a ninety degree angle and has a dent in the precise shape of a baseball. Everyone trots over to where I am standing.

"Well there goes our game," says Emmett as he picks up the misshapen bat from the ground.

"I'm so sorry," I say, pleading with them to not be angry. I hesitantly glance up at Edward. He is gazing at me with wonder, pride and other emotions I cannot recognize. I smile sheepishly at him and he gives me a glorious smile.

"How did you do that Bella? Not even Emmett has been able to hit it to the mountains, let alone over them," asks Jasper. Emmett pouts. I can tell he doesn't like to be beaten at anything. I shrug but don't say anything. Jasper continues, "I never thought I would meet a vampire faster than Edward, but I think you may just be."

I turn to Edward. "Care to race?" I ask with a sly smile and a wink. His eyes light up in recognition.

"Okay, but no cheating this time. Ground only," he says sternly. I nod and head toward the far end of the clearing. Edward follows me while Jasper, Alice, Rosalie, Emmett, and Esme run in the opposite direction.

When we reach the tree-line we turn around. With Edward close to me, I already feel more powerful than I did during baseball. I consolidate a good amount of fire into the muscles in my legs. By the time Jasper finishes setting up the finish line my legs have so much energy I have to physically restrain them from moving.

Emmet begins the countdown from three and I move into a starting stance. The instant he shouts "Go!" I burst forward in an explosion of speed.

Just like the time we raced in the forest, we are even for the first few seconds, but then Edward begins to pull ahead. I push more fire towards my legs and manage to catch up with him again. We are around fifty yard from the finish line now, and no one has the edge. Edward bends forward slightly in attempt to become more aero dynamic. I force even more fire into my muscles. Still, we are evenly matched. If he were not close to me, supplementing my fire, there is no way I could keep up with him. We cross the finish line in a blur. I have no idea who won. I take a moment to disperse the fire and relax my muscles before turning around. Again, everyone is staring at me in awe.

I walk over to Edward and hold out my fist for a fist bump. He cringes like he thinks I am going to punch him. I burst out laughing. His eyes look confused, but his mouth is smiling.

"Relax you old geezer, it's a fist bump, like a high-five," I say through my laughter. I see a look of recognition flash in his eyes and he touches his fist to mine. Flames race through my body.

I turn to the other Cullens to figure out who won. They all shrug and say it was too close for even their eyes to call. Jasper, Emmett, and Esme look amazed, Alice is bouncing, and Rosalie is glaring, as always.

"I truly have never run that fast before," Edward says. "You are utterly amazing."

"Right back at you, penny-head," I say with a suggestive raise of my eyebrows and a small smile. He rolls his eyes, but can't hide his glorious smile.

Alice interrupts our moment. "Carlisle is on his way!" she trills and Esme smiles hugely. A few moments later he appears in front of us in the clearing.

"What happened to the game?" he asked with a glance at the vacated bases. I look down at my shoes as Emmett and Jasper take turns filling him in on the night. Carlisle murmurs a soft "wow" when they tell him about my hit, and laughs when they show him the bat. He gazes at me with wonder when they summarize the race. I have never been more thankful that my vampire cheeks can't flush.

Rosalie is becoming more and more incensed with each word the boys say. She finally seems to reach a breaking point, and I brace myself for her explosion. She doesn't disappoint. "Does no one else see the danger in this situation? Jasper can't feel her, Edward can't hear her, and Alice can't see her. We know damn near nothing about this vampire girl, but none of you seem to care. She is obviously more powerful than us, and she could very well kill us. For all we know, she was sent here to eliminate the Cullen family for good. We all know how threatened the Volturi are by our family, so why are we taking no precautions? Why are we welcoming her like she is one of our own, when she obviously still has secrets?" she finishes her rant with a cross of her arms and returns to her usual pastime of glaring at me.

During her outburst, Edward moved subtly to stand in front of me, as if preparing to defend me from him family. I am so touched that my eyes feel heavy even though they have no tears to shed.

I don't have time to survey everyone else's reactions because Alice freezes and Edward gasps. A split second later a bolt of lightning illuminates the night sky. It strikes a massive tree standing about fifty feet away from us. The tree is engulfed in flames in an instant.

The fire begins to expand to near by trees, incinerating leaves and branches into a great column of smoke. All I hear is the crackling of the trees surrendering to the pure energy of the fire. All I see is the blinding yellow and orange blaze. All I smell is the glorious smoke that fills my lungs. My control is dwindling fast. This fire is thousands of times more powerful than any Bunsen burner could be. The need to be closer to this fire and to feel the flames licking at my skin is all consuming.

With my last ounce of remaining will power, I throw up a shield, invisible to everyone but myself, around the Cullens. I don't look back, I can't. But I can feel their presence in my mind. I relax knowing that they are safe. I let go; relinquish control.

My legs carry me at a speed faster than I managed to run while racing Edward. The heat engulfs me, and I pause inches away from the flames, soaking it in for a moment. But then I can hold out no longer and I step into the heart of the flames.

My mind goes completely blank from euphoria. The fire inside of me escapes from my body and joins the flames of the raging inferno. I am almost crippled by the bliss; swaying on my feet as I try to remain standing. I loose track of time. It could have been years that I was standing there before I am finally jolted back into reality.

My mind registers sharp pounding on the shield I threw earlier. I am able to concentrate enough to realize that Edward is throwing himself against the invisible barrier. I hear his anguished cries. My still heart lurches and I regain control.

I close my eyes and raise my arms. I slowly pull the fire into my body. The sheer magnitude of the flames fills me until I am completely saturated with energy and power. I draw in the fire until only a small blaze dances in each of my palms. I close my fingers and smother the last of the embers.

The pounding has ceased. Everything is silent, as if the creatures of the world have all stopped breathing for a moment. I am terrified; terrified to turn around and face the Cullens. They know my secret. They know I am dangerous. Rosalie was right; I should have left when I had the chance.

I am too cowardly to witness their reactions. I sob escapes me and I run into the woods. I release the shield on the Cullens but I don't stop running. The quiet pounding of my feet is the only sound I hear.


	9. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

I run for a very long time. I feel no enjoyment in the wind running through my hair or the leaves brushing my body. Sobs rock my body more forcefully the farther away I run. Without knowing, I have become irrevocably tied to the Cullens. Little bouncing Alice, huge smiling Emmett, kind gentle Carlisle; each name brings on a round of sobs. Edward. My heart sinks all the way to the forest floor. Never again will I feel the spark from his gaze or the fire from his touch. Never again will I hear his lovely laugh or see his sparkling smile. My body is shaking. I sink to the ground. I don't know how I let myself get to this point.

I told myself I would curb my curiosity for the Cullens so I could leave with no regrets. I knew the dangers of getting involved, but I ignored all the warning signs my brain flashed at me. It is my fault that I am in this situation. It is for the best anyway. I am very dangerous to other vampires. Now the Cullens can be safe. This is what I tell myself anyway.

I take a deep breath and force my body off the forest floor. I glance down. Edward's jersey is in tatters from the flames. All I can smell is lingering smoke; I can't even get a waft of his glorious scent anymore. I am surprised it even survived at all. As it happens, it doesn't cover most of my body. It doesn't bother me; there isn't anyone around to see.

I look around and survey the forest. I have no idea where I am; no idea how far I ran. I search the ground and find my light footprints that mark the earth. I start walking in the opposite direction. I walk slowly now. There is no place I need to be; no time limit.

In past years, I always rushed to find a new area in which to settle and start a new life. I always wanted to be around humans and be a part of society. It was a way to forget about my past and focus only on the present. Now, I don't think it will be the same.

Vampires are unchanged by the passage of time. When something alters a vampire it is permanent; there is no changing it back. I had no control of the Cullens influence over me. I didn't realize it until it was to late, but the Cullens had altered me in only a few short days. They showed me that not all vampires are evil, that it is possible to be a family and share love, even for a supernatural being.

I don't know about the other Cullens, but I know that Edward and I had a connection. I wouldn't call it love, at least not yet, but I am not naïve enough to deny the fact that we belong together. Everything has changed now. I imagine he is terrified of me, and rightfully so. I push the painful thoughts out of my mind.

I continue walking, but my mind is blank. I see the colors and shapes in front of me, but they never come into focus.

My brain registers the sound of footsteps behind me. I spin around, expecting to see some form of animal. I come face to face with Edward. I can't stop a small sob from escaping me. I can't read his emotions. His face gives nothing away. He is gazing into my eyes intently. I feel the fire from his gaze, but it doesn't feel the same anymore. How can I enjoy the thing that drove me away?

He takes a few steps in my direction. I drop my gaze to the forest floor. If he wants to try to hurt me, I will let him. There is no way I will risk defending myself and causing him harm.

I hear him take another step. He is inches from me now. I can feel the heat emaciating from him. I try my best to ignore it.

He begins to speak softly, his face still giving nothing away. "I cannot begin to explain to you how difficult it was to watch you walk into that fire. I would suffer through the change into a vampire a thousand times if I could erase that image from my brain.

"I was so ready to run in after you. I didn't even have to think about it. I have no idea how you mean so much to me already, but I know I was ready to die along with you. When I realized that I couldn't get to you, my mind went into a frenzy. All conscious thoughts went out the window. All I knew was that I had to get to you; I had to get to you, or I didn't want to continue living.

"When the fire began to shrink and I saw your form in the middle, still standing, I thought my wishes had been granted. I thought I had somehow died, and that this was my heaven. Seeing that you were okay would have been enough to let me rest peacefully for an eternity.

"I didn't believe my eyes when I saw the fire disappearing through your skin. I thought for sure I had gone insane. I couldn't move. I couldn't breath. I watched you run away and I was frozen.

"Rosalie snapped out of it first. She started ranting again, saying how she was right, and that we were all stupid not to have listened to her. I couldn't pay attention to her words; all I could focus on was the fact that you were somehow alive, but you were gone.

"When I finally realized that there was no longer anything holding me back, I ran. I heard the shouts of my family out loud and in their heads. I didn't care. I didn't stop."

He pauses and puts his finger under my chin; raising my eyes to meet his. Fire shoots through me. I don't allow myself to enjoy it, not yet. Emotions smolder in his eyes as he continues, his voice softer now than before. "Bella, I don't care that you have some surreal control over fire. I don't care that you can create invisible walls with you're mind. I don't care that you are dangerous. I don't care. Please, don't ever run from me again. I don't know if I could handle it."

My legs give out and I crumple. Strong arms encircle me and draw me close into his body. I am trembling, and I can't make it stop. Sobs escape from me and he squeezes me tighter. My practically bare skin aligns perfectly with every curve of his body. My insides are alight with glorious warmth and fire, but it has no chance of escaping. There are no limitations to my control now; I am stronger.

I feel Edward's body shaking along with mine. He buries his face in my hair. We stay locked in a tight embrace for an immeasurable amount of time. Neither of us wants to let go.

Eventually he loosens his grip and nudges my shoulder. I back away an infinitesimal amount. I already miss the contact. His eyes run over my exposed flesh, and my hands automatically move to cover myself. He grabs my wrists.

"Please don't hide yourself from me. You are gorgeous," he murmurs and my hands drop to my sides. He pulls his jersey over his head; leaving him with no shirt on. I can see every defined muscle rippling as he hands the shirt to me. I can't break my eyes away from his abs. He chuckles and slides the fabric over my head. I loose sight of his beautiful body and put the shirt on properly. It fits just like the other jersey, and smells even better. His smile is wide and his eyes are sparkling. He mumbles a word to himself, but I can't make it out.

He reaches for my hand and twines his fingers with mine. He leads me over to a fallen tree. I go to sit next to him but he grumbles and pulls me onto his lap. I lay my head against his solid shoulder. Neither of us speaks for a while.

My mind is running quickly, thinking through recent events. Words tumble out of my mouth inadvertently. Soon I am telling Edward everything. Everything from my vampire life, that is. I tell him of the years I spent in the forest learning to control my mind and my fire. I tell him about the physical shield that protects me on the outside and the mental shield that protects me on the inside and how I can manipulate them at will. I tell him about my first encounter with a human, and the hope it gave me that I could live again. I tell him about each school that I have gone to. I tell him about my fears. I tell him the highs and the lows of my immortal life.

The entire time I am talking he stares into my eyes. Sometimes he twirls a lock of hair around his finger. Sometimes he strokes my arm. He holds me tight when the stories are sad, laughs with me when they are funny, and gives me his undivided attention when they are serious.

My words come to a cease around the time that the sun begins to peak through the trees. I realize how long I have been talking, but this time I am not embarrassed. Everything is different with Edward.

"Thank you, Bella. You have no idea how much it means to me that you shared your story with me," he says. His eyes are closed as if he is engraving my words into his memory. I don't articulate a response; words are not necessary. I squeeze his hand and pull him up. He looks surprised.

"I want to hear your story. I really do, but right now I think it's more important that you go tell your family you are okay. I shouldn't have kept you this long as is," I say. Part of me longs to keep him here all to myself, but I know this is the right thing to do.

He nods but still has a little frown on his face.

I touch his cheek and whisper to him, "Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere this time. I'll be right here when you came back."

He looks up startled and grabs my hand from his face forcefully. I jump a little bit. "You mean to tell me that you want me to leave you here in these woods so I can go tell my family what they already know?" I nod hesitantly and he shakes his head vigorously. "There is no way I am leaving you again. Either you are coming with me or I am staying here with you." His tone and his posture let me know that this is definitely not debatable.

"Edward, I don't know if that is a good idea. Rosalie…" I trail off at the end, but he is already interrupting me.

"Rosalie can deal with it. The only reason she is acting out at you is because she is selfish and jealous. I will not let her ruin the only good thing I have in my life. As for the rest of my family, I know that they won't care about your gifts. You'll just have to trust me," he says firmly.

I gaze into his golden eyes and realize that I would do anything for this beautiful boy. "I trust you," I say.

His whole body seems to relax with my words. He takes my hand and together we start walking back in the direction we came.

Edward's brow is furrowed again. I ask him what's bothering him.

"Nothing, now that you're by my side. I was just thinking about your shields. How is it that you have three gifts? You can control fire, you have a mental shield, and you have a physical shield. And though you claim mind control is not a gift, I have a hard time believing that. I was just wondering if you were the next generation of vampire; if maybe our species evolves too, and you are the more powerful version of the rest of the population."

"You know, I've often wondered why I am so different. For most of my life, I saw it as a curse, though, not a gift. I don't think that I am some genetically superior version of you. My true talent is the ability to create and influence fire. The other skills are just necessary. If I didn't have the physical shield, I would be harmed by fire like everyone else, and then my gift would be for naught.

"The mental shield, I believe, is so I'm not getting attacked everywhere I go. Take your family, for instance. If you had been able to read my mind, Jasper had been able to feel my emotions, and Alice had been able to see my future, you would have automatically known what I can do. You would have thought I was a threat, and rightfully so. I am dangerous. There is no doubt that you would have tried to eliminate me. You would not be able to hurt me, of course, but soon word would spread. Immortals from around the world would hear about the girl with purple eyes who throws fire and stops vampires in mid-stride. I would never have a second of peace.

"As for the control, that really was a skill that I had to master as a human. Back then, I didn't have as much control over fire as I do now; it was more erratic and unruly. I saw first hand what happened when I let my control slip, and I have never forgiven myself for it," I say. A shudder runs through me with that last thought. I freeze momentarily as I reinforce the wall that blocks out those painful memories. Edward squeezes my fingers, but somehow he knows better than to ask about it.

Instead, he continues on like nothing happened. "If fire is the only thing that kills vampires, and it doesn't harm you, does that mean you can never die?" he asks.

"Yep, I truly am immortal in every sense of the word. Trust me, I know. I tried to kill my self for a long time. I don't know…" I trail off when Edward rips his hand out of mine and freezes. His fists are squeezed so tightly that I can see the tendons in his hands. He closes his eyes. He reaches one hand up and pinches the bridge of his nose. I don't know what to do.

He speaks through clenched teeth, "Did you just say that you tried to kill yourself?" His voice sounds murderously angry and I flinch.

"Well yeah, but it didn't work," I say, my voice defiant. I don't know why he's so angry. A wait a few more moments but he doesn't speak again. I huff out a breath and spin on my heel. It only takes me a few steps before I hear him follow after me. He is so predictable. I turn around.

"Look Edward, you really need to stop with this whole brooding vampire, I hate the world thing you've got going on here. I know we have something between us here, and I know you can feel it too. That doesn't mean you can turn into Mr. Angst when you hear something you don't like. Because trust me, if you want to spend time with me it's not going to all be peaches and cream. If you can't handle communication maybe I should just go," I say; my gaze hard.

During my tirade his fingers slowly relaxed and his body lost some of its previous tension. He opens his eyes and stares back at me. "Bella, I'm all for communication, I really am. I would love to hear anything about you. But seriously, could you just refrain from talking about your death. I obviously can't handle it, and I don't want to have to," he says equally as hard.

I feel kind of bad now that I know he wasn't just mad about something random. I look down at my bare feet. "I'm sorry," I whisper sincerely.

He smiles and drops a searing kiss on the top of my head. He grabs my hand and we walk slowly along the path of my faded footprints. Each step we take erases the evidence that we were alone and forges new proof that we are together.


	10. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

When I was a little kid, we had a butterfly bush in the corner of our yard. Every spring it would bloom in an explosion of beautiful purples and blues. Hundreds of butterflies would land on the flowers, making the plant seem alive and magical. It fluttered without the slightest hint of a breeze and created a whirlwind of every color imaginable.

Every day I would lay down right in front of the bush, so my head was just barely brushing the soft green leaves. I had this thought that maybe if I stayed still enough, a butterfly would think I was the bush and land on me instead. I thought the bush held the magic, and I wanted to feel it for myself.

The years passed, the spring times rolled by, and the butterflies always landed on the bush. Eventually I gave up, and instead contented to enjoy the peace and watch the bush come to life from my little vantage point.

It was only after I had given up that my wish came true. The butterfly was small and light blue, with wings so delicate that it seemed like a strong gust of wind would turn them to dust. It landed right on my nose. It fluttered its tiny wings a few times and then settled. I was frozen, commanding my eyes to refrain from blinking. I think I started to feel the magic creeping towards me, or maybe I just imagined it; either way it was short lived.

A few seconds later, I sneezed. It was an almighty sneeze, not just scaring away the little blue butterfly, but making the entire bush of butterflies take flight into the sky. All those years of waiting and it was over before I even had the chance to enjoy it.

When Edward and I walk back into the clearing, the Cullens are perched on my nose. They seem content for the moment to pull me into their arms and tell me how worried they were, but I'm still waiting for the sneeze. My senses are on red alert, trying to detect any invisible specks of dust that could ruin everything.

I notice that Jasper seems the most cautious out of all the Cullens. His eyes never leave Alice when she is within a few feet of me. His muscles seem taut; ready to react at a moments notice. I study his movements and expressions carefully; if he decides that I'm too big of a threat to his mate, I need to be the first to know.

I see Rosalie out of the corner of my eye. She's sitting so still on the opposite side of the clearing that she blends in with the rock she's balanced on. In all the hustle of my return, I failed to notice that her arms weren't part of our giant group hug. I mentally rebuke myself for focusing too much on what was happening right in front of me and not taking in my surroundings.

Emmett notices me looking over at her and smiles. "She'll come around eventually, I promise," he says softly. I nod and try not to let her bother me, but I can't stop worrying. My secret is out now. The Cullens know the thing that I've managed to keep hidden for a century. For the most part I couldn't be happier that they are the ones that found out, but I just can't trust Rosalie yet. She must be a good person seeing as she lives in a coven with six other vegetarian vampires, but so far she hasn't let me see past her ice queen act.

I shake off my worries as best as I can and refocus on the Cullens in front of me. I can tell they all really want to ask questions, but none of them know how to start. I decide to give them a little nudge. "So, I can control fire," I say nonchalantly.

I guess that was all they needed because they all start talking at once. Then they all stop, meaning to let someone else talk. Then they all start up again. It's one of those awkward moments when you can't do anything but laugh it off.

Carlisle dominates the conversation, his thirst for knowledge unquenchable. I answer all his questions as best as I can, but some I haven't ever thought of. I find myself really enjoying talking with him. Everything I've learned about myself or my gifts have been the product of experiments within my own mind. I realize now how limited my education has been without any outside thoughts to provoke my own.

Carlisle and I probably would have continued talking for days, and I imagine we will pick up our discussion where we left off some time in the near future. But, of course, Emmett, being the impatient immortal creature he is, interrupts after only a few minutes.

He wants to know more about my gift specifically; if I can make fire or only control that which is already present. Rather than discussing the matter in depth, which he seems to have no tolerance for, I decide to give everyone a little demonstration.

Before I do anything, though, I put up a thick shield between me and the Cullens. I can't take any chances. With the close proximity, a little gust of wind is all it would take for disaster to strike, again.

Edward is the closest to me; his hand is within a few inches of brushing mine. I make the shield stronger around him. It's not like the solid wall I threw up hastily before, though. With most of my focus devoted on the shield, it is much more advanced. It's more like a piece of clothing than a wall and it follows their movements without ever inhibiting them.

The more I increase my shield around Edward, the stronger it gets. It's a very foreign feeling to me because having shields up usually drains me of energy very quickly. But it's like this shield wants to exist. It takes almost no brain power to completely surround and protect him.

I ignore it for now and focus on the Cullens. Emmett seems to be taking after Alice and is bouncing in anticipation.

I curl my fingers into tight fists and hold them out in front of me. I let the smallest bit of fire out into my palms, but not enough that the flames will be seen. Smoke slithers through my fingers and evaporates into the air. I open my right hand and the freed fire twist merrily along my skin. I give it a little fuel and it shoots skyward. I open my other hand now and let its fire match the size of the other. I let the fires smolder for a few moments before clenching my fists again and drawing most of the fire back inside me. I leave a small flame inside my right hand. I stretch out my pointer finger and let the fire dance right to the tip. With a slight jerk of my hand I throw the mini fire ball to my left hand. I juggle it back and forth a few times, and then I add a few more fire balls. After a few moments I catch each one in my closed fist and smother the flames. I let the last one land on my pointer finger again. I raise it close to my face and blow it out with a quick puff of air.

I definitely am being a bit of a show-off, but I can't help it. I've never been able to show anyone what I can do. I find that I actually enjoy it; their awed faces give me surges of adrenaline.

With all the fire tucked safely away, I release the shield over the Cullens. For the most part, it snaps back around me like a rubber-band. But the shield I put around Edward seems reluctant to be drawn away. It takes more energy for me to pull it away from him than it did to hold it there. With a firm command from my mind, it breaks away from him. My shoulders slump for some reason unknown to me, and I see his do the same out of the corner of my eye.

Can he feel my shield around him? No, I tell myself. That's impossible. It's completely invisible to everyone but me. But his brows are furrowed, and his hand is reaching out into thin air, as if trying to grasp the wind. As much as I want to, I can't ask him about it now in front of everybody. I'll have to wait until we're alone.

Emmett's voice interrupts my thoughts. "Wow," he says simply, his eyes so wide I can't see his eye lids.

From across the meadow we all hear Rosalie growl softly. She unfreezes herself and stalks into the woods towards the house. I can practically feel the coldness from where I'm standing. I shiver involuntarily.

Emmett looks completely torn. I can tell he wants to follow her; his feet seem to be trying to lead him away. Yet he is still facing me, his mind demanding more answers. It's a rather comical sight, and if I weren't so concerned about Rosalie I would have laughed. I tuck the image away to revisit at a less stressful time.

"You should follow her," I tell Emmett gently, "you can ask me whatever you want later."

He shakes his head. "No, frankly she's being really stupid. She's always had problems with trusting people, but this just goes above and beyond. I don't really want to talk to her right now."

I smile, but it probably looks more like a grimace. I haven't physically hurt them, but my mere presence is creating a rift between them.

It's awkwardly silent for a moment until Jasper hesitantly asks about why Edward couldn't follow me at first. Everyone seems relieved to have moved onto a lighter topic.

"I put up a kind of shield, or a wall I guess, to protect you from the fire," I say.

"Wait, you have another power?" demands Emmett.

"Not really. I already explained this to Edward, but it's just something that is necessary because of my true gift." They all look like they want to say more so I hold up my hand and tell them to watch.

Just like before, I put up a shield between us. Then I let some fire escape and dance along the barrier that protects my skin. This time, rather than juggling, I flex my mind like a muscle. The shield pulls away from my skin, and the fire goes with it. The fire now seems to be floating in mid air.

"There's a shield that covers my skin that protects me from the fire I create. If it weren't there I would be harmed by fire just like the rest of you. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize how bad that would be. As it turns out, the shield blocks any physical attacks, not just fire," I say to the general amazement of the vampires around me. Their eyes are trained on the floating fire, as if in a trance. I pull back my shield and smother the fire. Their heads snap up, the trance broken.

"That's not what happened before," says Jasper astutely. "That fire completely surrounded you. There was no space in between the wall you put up and your body."

"That's because it was a different shield."

"Let me get this straight," says Jasper, "You can control fire, you have a shield that you can conjure out of nowhere, and you have that mental shield that blocks all of our gifts from working on you?"

I shrug and nod as if to say that's pretty much the gist. Jasper rocks back onto his heels. His breath leaves him in a strong gust.

Little Alice, who has been shockingly silent, finally speaks up. She wants to know about my mental shield. "Can you move that one as well?" she asks excitedly, "Because if you moved it maybe I could finally see you."

"It's much harder to control. I haven't had much practice; I found out about it a relatively short time ago," I say. I think she realizes that I didn't really answer her question.

"What do you mean?" asks Carlisle.

"Well, I've spent most of my life either alone or with humans. The mental shield I have wasn't useful because I didn't associate anyone whose powers I needed to block. I finally found out about it when I crossed paths with a vampire with a gift. He could sense pain in people, whether it was physical pain in humans or emotional pain in vampires. According to him, no one is ever without pain. The pain that arises from loss or injury stays with us forever, though it becomes less prominent with the passing of time. He told me it was as if I didn't exist because I was experiencing no pain. I knew without a doubt that that was untrue, so I began to try to find out why. The vampire was curious about me, I could tell, but I made up some excuse involving losing my memory and left. It took a while after that encounter, but I eventually found out about the shield that protects my mind."

"So, can you move it?" demands Alice impatiently.

I think Edward senses my hesitation because he comes to my rescue. "It's been a long day, Alice. Why don't we head home and we can discuss more of this later," he says softly.

I smile gratefully at him and ignore Alice's pouting. Jasper tucks her under his arm and begins to tow her back towards the house. The others follow behind, leaving just Edward and me standing in the clearing. Edward grabs my hand and we start walking slowly through the woods.

The fire from his touch spreads through me as usual, but this time I feel a sort of tugging in my mind along with it. It's kind of like before when I felt Edward pounding on my shield. I try to ignore it, but the feeling never dissipates. I'm very curious, so I focus on my mind and locate where the tugging is originating. When I realize that it's the part of my brain that controls my physical shield, my curiosity grows.

I relax my mind and focus on the feeling. I slowly pull back my control and let the feeling take over. It acts like an instinct that tries to control my rational thought. The instant I relinquish some control, my mind flexes of its own accord and a shield, more powerful than I've ever been able to create, springs forth. It wraps itself around Edward, surrounding him completely. Energy surges through me and my mind finally relaxes.

My eyes are wide and it takes me a moment to realize that I've frozen in the middle of the forest. It takes me another moment to realize that Edward has frozen too. He turns to face me with questions burning in his eyes.

"What is that?" he breathes.

"You can feel it?"

"I can feel something."

"It's my shield. I guess you felt it before when I was showing Emmett my power, but this time I didn't mean to put it up. It's as if my mind needs to protect you, just as I need to protect myself. I'm sorry, this has never happened to me before," I say, still in awe of what happened.

"Don't be sorry. It's warm, like a blanket. I feel safe and content, and I feel more connected with you," he says and wraps his arms around me.

With my shield around him, the fire is ten times more powerful. I gasp as the energy fills me, and have to focus to keep control. He hums quietly, as if he too can feel the effects. We embrace for a few more glorious moments until Edward freezes. About a hundred feet in front of us, I see Alice freeze as well. She gasps and spins around to face us. Her eyes are wide and dancing with emotions I cannot place. Edward growls.

Before I can ask what's happening, Edward and Alice have taken off in a dead sprint. I quickly catch up to them, but the other Cullens lag behind us, unable to match our speed.

"Edward," I start, and he answers me before I can even ask the question.

"It's Rosalie," he growls, "She's calling the Volturi."

His words hit me with the strength of a freight train. It's a miracle that I'm able to keep running. My heart is pounding so loud in my ears that I can't hear anything else. Volturi. Volturi. The word echoes through my brain. My thoughts are frantic and uncontrollable.

The Volturi are the reason behind my secrecy. In the beginning of my vampire life, I was blissfully unaware of the vampire royalty. I kept my secret because I was ashamed of what I could do, and I wanted to pretend that I was normal. It wasn't until my first encounter with an immortal being that I realized that secrecy was more vital than I ever imagined. The vampire I met was on the run from the Volturi. He had a power they wanted, and they would go to any lengths to capture him and force him to join the guard. His power was the only thing keeping him safe. He could fly. I think he sensed that I had a gift because he grabbed onto my shoulders and looked me straight in the eyes. He told me in a whisper to do anything in my power to maintain secrecy. His voice was haunting, the desperation in his words tangible. His words became the mantra that I lived by, and until now, I have honored his pleas. But now, everything is crashing down. The Volturi know about me.

Edward grabs onto my shoulder, and the fire is the only thing that could break me from my thoughts. "We still have time. She hasn't called yet," he says. His words are a life line and I hang onto them with all my strength.

I make a sound that is half a sob and half a growl, and push my legs as fast as possible. Edward matches my speed, but little Alice fall behind us, her little legs too short to match our strides.

We're going faster than when we raced in the clearing, faster than I've ever run before. The Cullen's house appears in the distance and I push myself even faster. We reach the house in a matter of seconds. Edward opens the door so forcefully that it rips off the hinges. I don't know where Rosalie is, but Edward can hear her mind. I follow him as he dashes up the stairs and down the hall.

When we are a few steps away from the last door, I hear her voice ring out.

"Aro, did you send her?"


	11. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

"_Aro, did you send her?"_

Edward and I burst into Rosalie's room at top speed. The door slams with a deafening smack against the wall. Rosalie jumps and spins to face us, the phone still in her hand. I hear a voice speaking from the other end, but I can't make out the words. Before I have time to act, Edward charges across the room and grabs the phone from Rosalie. She is too startled to react, and instead stands as still as a statue, her eyes wide. Edward throws the phone onto the ground with a growl. It shatters into hundreds of pieces and leaves a large dent in the wood of the floor.

He turns to face Rosalie and she shrinks back against the wall. The look in his eyes is menacing, like liquid fire. If I didn't know better, I would say that he is the one that controls the flames.

I can tell from his stance that he is going to attack her. I large part of me rejoices at the idea. I can even picture myself pitching in and burning her to an unrecognizable pile of ashes. But, the smaller more rational part of my brain is the part I decide to listen to. I flex my mind and the shield that still surrounds Edward changes. It becomes a restraint, no longer flexible protection. His eyes widen when he realizes that he can't move, and I walk to stand in between him and Rosalie.

"Relax, Edward," I say softly.

He growls in response and I know what he's thinking. How can I stop him from destroying her when she almost spilled my secret to the very monsters I need to keep it from? But the key word there is almost. She doesn't know about my fear about the Volturi. She didn't tell Aro my secret. Granted she would have, but she didn't. I understand her motives. She wants to protect her family. I can't blame her for that. She understands better than anyone how dangerous I am. The rest of the Cullens should have called the Volturi the moment they found out about me.

I am about to explain this to Edward when my attention is diverted. The Cullens have caught up to us. Alice dashes into the room with the rest of the family close on her heels. Alice looks angrier than I ever thought possible, and she too looks ready to charge Rosalie. I act instinctively and throw up a barrier between Alice and Rosalie.

Jasper looks mad, but only because Alice is upset. I think part of him acknowledges the reason in Rosalie's actions. He isn't going to attack, so I let him be.

Esme and Carlisle are too kind to attack one of their own, so they too need no restraining. Emmett dashes forward, but his motivations are different. He crouches in front of Rosalie and bears his teeth at Edward.

Edward growls in return and tries to break through my shield.

"Stop it," I tell him forcefully. He looks hurt at my words, so I step close to him and backtrack.

"I appreciate you standing up for me, I really do, but I will not let you hurt Rosalie. She was doing what she thought was right. You know about my fears because I told you in the forest; Rosalie has no idea about the consequences of her actions. If I wanted it to happen, she would be dead right now. I don't need you to fight my battles," I say softly. I put my hands on his shoulders and brush my lips across his cheek very lightly. His body relaxes and he nods. I relax the shield, but keep my mind alert enough to tighten it back up at a moments notice.

I turn towards Alice, thinking that her anger is second only to Edward, and that I might have to talk her out of doing something rash as well. To my surprise, though, she doesn't seem to care about what's happening around us. I've gotten used to her visions, but this time is different. It doesn't look like she is watching something play out. Her eyes are moving back and forth rapidly, as if she is looking for something. Her shoulders are tense and her fingers are curled into fists.

"She's searching the future," says Edward, I imagine in response to my expression.

"And?" I ask, needing to know what she sees.

"Alice can't see what Aro is thinking, only what he and the rest of the Volturi decide to do. He doesn't seem to be too preoccupied with the situation, but if I know him at all, his curiosity will surely cause him to act. He keeps changing his mind. One moment he wants to visit us himself and the next moment he has decided to invite us to his castle," answers Edward.

"Why, though? He didn't hear anything," says Emmett defiantly.

Carlisle answers this time. "Just the fact that Rosalie called him lets him know that something is happening. In general, we have avoided contact with the Volturi as much as possible. This is a fact that irks him to no end, I am sure, as he would love no more than to control the gifted vampires we have in our ranks. He obviously knows that we have come across an immortal being that is threatening in some way, so he will no doubt want to know more."

"So what do we do?" Emmett asks.

"There's nothing we can do, yet. We just have to wait until Aro makes his decision," I say to the general disappointment of the room. I can tell they want action.

"One way or another, I am going to have to meet Aro," I say with nonchalance that contrasts the nerves bubbling up inside my body. "Worrying about it now isn't going to change anything, so we all just need to relax. Alice, if it's not too much trouble I would appreciate it if you could watch Aro for me. In the meantime, Rosalie and I need to talk."

Emmett immediately growls in response to my words and sinks to a crouch in front of Rosalie. I sigh internally. Sometimes my life would be much easier if it weren't for the strange bond between mates.

"Look, Emmett, I am going to talk to Rosalie. Alone. You're just going to have to trust me when I say that if I wanted her dead she would be a pile of ashes right now," I say.

I start to say more but Rosalie cuts me off. She puts her hand on Emmett's shoulder. "Em, stand up," she says, and I am shocked at the kindness in her tone. "I need to talk to Bella. If she decides to kill me I honestly wouldn't blame her, but I don't think she will."

Emmett looks nervous, but he stands and steps to the side anyway. Rose walks past him and out the door. I move to follow her but Edward grabs my arm. He doesn't have to say anything to tell me how he feels. I feel his reluctance to be apart as if it were my own. It probably is. "Give us thirty minutes," I whisper, "and then you can come and get me."

He breathes deeply and nods. I squeeze his hand tightly and then walk past the rest of the Cullens and out the door.

Rosalie is already outside, leaning against the massive trunk of an evergreen tree. When I reach her we simultaneously begin to run. We don't say anything, and for once the silence isn't comforting to me. It is weighted down too much with unsaid words to be peaceful.

As we move farther away from the house, it gets harder and harder to keep the shield up around Edward. My mind feels stretched and I know the protection around him is weak, but I can't make my self pull it away from him. We're probably about five miles from the house, so no one will be able to hear us. Edward may be able to read Rosalie's mind, but I don't care about that. I'll tell him what we talk about anyway.

I slow to a stop and perch myself on a fallen log. Rosalie sits next to me, but far enough away that her discomfort is obvious. This situation is almost too similar to my earlier conversation with Edward. My mind drifts for a moment as I recall how safe I felt in his arms. I shake my head and focus on the vampire in front of me.

I know that she wants me to open the conversation, but I don't say anything. Partly because I want to see what she has to say, and partly because I'm afraid if I open my mouth I'll start yelling at her. I refuse to loose my temper, so I keep my lips pressed tightly together. The Cullens are marvelously impatient for vampires, so I'm betting that I won't have to wait long for her to speak.

She doesn't disappoint. "I'm sorry, for what it's worth, which I imagine is nothing, but I'm sorry nonetheless. You just have to understand how hard it is for me to trust people," she begins.

I don't say anything, still. I know that she's sorry; why else would we be sitting here? Sorry doesn't erase her actions. We sit in silence for a few more beats. She sighs after a moment and seems to prepare herself. I'm in the middle of wondering what for when she begins to tell me her story.

At first, I dislike her even more. The whole first half of her story is focused solely on her perfect human life was. How she was the object of every man's lust and the center of every girl's jealousy. How she had the perfect fiancé and everything she wanted just seemed to fall right into her lap. How her parents adored her and her father doted on her. I really start to regret not burning her up when I had the excuse. I almost slap her in the face a little, but I decide not to.

As it turns out, I'm glad I didn't. She was raped. By her supposedly perfect fiancé and his group of loser friends. They left her for dead in the street, and that is exactly where Carlisle found her- broken and bloody and wishing for death to take her away.

My arms envelope her automatically and she sobs into my shoulder for a moment. I understand now why she made her life seem so perfect. In reality, it probably wasn't as great as she made it sound. But I know that she has thought about these events more than she cares to admit. More than anyone else would guess. I know that it's easier for her to think her life was so perfect because that makes it easier for her to be angry about what happened. It makes it easier for her to justify killing her fiancé and his friends and probably even to hate Carlisle for what he changed her into.

I don't say any of these things to her, but I think she can tell from the look in my eyes that I understand. I know what I do have to say, but I'm hesitant to say it. I start slowly. "Thank you for telling me that. I know now why you have problems trusting even those who are closest to you. But I also know that what happened to you as a human has nothing to do with why you lash out at me. Jasper doesn't trust me either, but he didn't run to the Volturi. You did, and I want to know why."

Something flashes in her eyes. I think that it's anger or sadness or maybe a combination of both. Anyway, it's gone before I can decipher it. She stares at me for another moment before she buries her face in her hands. It's a shockingly vulnerable movement coming from Rosalie. She starts to speak and I have to strain my ears to hear her words.

"I was jealous, okay? That's it. I was jealous. You came here and you were perfect. We all knew you were a vampire, but you were so different. You seemed so impossibly human. You're eyes aren't gold or red. You eat salad and laugh at stupid jokes. You help people with homework and go to movies. The thing that I want most in the world is to be human again. I've been so angry about what I am that I never even tried to seem kind and open. I can't even tell you how jealous I was to see you becoming true friends with everyone at our school."

I mean to stop her there, but her words keep tumbling out.

"When I was changing I heard what Carlisle and Edward were saying. I know that Carlisle hoped that I would be Edward's mate. I also knew that Edward wasn't attracted to me at all. He was the only single male I had met that hadn't pinned over me. I hated him for it, but after a while it was okay because it didn't seem like he found anyone attractive. Then you walked into our lives and he was captivated the moment he laid eyes on you. Call me vain, but I was jealous of that too," she whispers into her palms.

"Okay," I say and she looks up at me.

"That's it?" she asks.

"Yeah, that's it. I do think you're vain, and I don't understand you, but it's okay. I know why you did what you did, so, okay."

She looks surprised, but I just shrug. That's just how I am. I have no room to judge anybody, so I don't.

"You have to understand though, if I were any other vampire, you would be dead now. Part of me still wants to burn you to ashes for what you did. I will not give you a second chance. I have never killed a vampire using my gift, but I will not hesitate to make you the first if you decide to cross me again. It's your choice, Rosalie. You can keep up your ice queen act and see how long it takes before I snap, or you can get your head out of your ass and realize that the only reason I'm here is because I want to be part of your family."

She nods slowly at me and I can tell from the absence of her scowl that my words have sunk in.

"Truce?" I ask and I hold out my pinkie. She laughs but twines her pinkie with mine.

"I haven't made a pinkie promise since the fourth grade," she says.

"Ah, well in case you've forgotten the rules, let me remind you. You can't ever ever ever break a pinkie promise. No matter what. Pinkie promises are the law."

She nods solemnly, but her eyes are twinkling.

I recognize that Edward is running towards us because the stretching in my mind seems to loosen. "Looks like our time is up," I say. Sure enough, Edward speeds into view less than a second later. Rosalie looks up in surprise and then turns back to me. She smiles and in the back of my mind I notice how much prettier she is when she isn't scowling. She hugs me quickly and then walks into the trees.

It's quite a relief to have Edward close to me again. My brain is rejoicing and I can't stop my arms from flinging themselves around his neck. After a second he pulls me flush against his body. I feel more than hear a rumble in his chest and I tilt my head up to meet his eyes.

It's like looking into the sun. I am practically blinded by the intensity of his gaze. After a moment he shifts his gaze down to my lips. Even with this distance between us, my lips feel like they're on fire. I suck in a shaky breath. As if pulled by a magnet, our heads move closer and we meet in the middle.

His lips are as smooth as the softest silk and as electrifying as a bolt of lightning. They barely brush mine, but it's almost too much for me to handle. With my shield around him, every feeling I have is magnified by thousands. A raging wildfire surges through every minuscule vein in my body. My blood is throbbing as if I still had a pulse. If my heart was still beating it would burst out of my chest. The fire is stronger than even the flames of a Bunsen burner and only infinitesimally easier to control.

Then he pulls my bottom lip in between his own and I loose it. Fire explodes through my skin and into the sky. It surrounds our bodies like a halo, never passing through the shield that connects us.

Edward gasps and his lips break away from my own. Without his lips on mine I regain control. I pull all the fire back into my body and gaze sheepishly as Edward.

He whispers something, but I don't care what it is because his lips are on mine again. I'm prepared this time, so I don't loose control. The fire stays inside me, and urges me to press my self closer to him, to taste more of him, to move my hands along the muscles of his back.

He makes a sound deep in his throat and lifts me off the ground. I wrap my legs around his waist. One of his hands moves up my back and tangles in my hair. His mouth is frantic but somehow I echo each of his movements perfectly. I'm guided completely by the uncontrolled fire within me and somehow it knows exactly what to do.

It could have been seconds or hours or days that pass as we stand kissing in the woods. Time has no meaning to me when all I can concentrate on is the glorious feeling of his lips against mine and his hands pulling me closer.

Eventually though, the kisses slow down and become more tender. Twice he sweeps his lips across mine so lightly that I can barely feel it. Then he rests his forehead on mine and stares into my eyes. My breathing is heavy and ragged, but I'm not embarrassed because his exactly matches my own.

He reminds me with two words why we can't stay in theses woods kissing forever, much to my chagrin. "The Volturi," he whispers and the days events come rushing back into the forefront of my mind.

I nod, but I can't make myself let go of him. I yelp in surprise when he swings me around onto his back. He starts to run and I rest my head on his shoulder. I touch my lips to his neck savoring for the moment his glorious scent and his even better taste, knowing that this peace won't last long.


	12. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

"Aro wants us to visit," says Alice the moment Edward and I cross the threshold.

"He called Carlisle already," adds Edward.

I'm not surprised by this, but it still sends fear shooting through me. I'm about to come face to face with my worst nightmare.

"So when are we leaving?" booms Emmett.

Carlisle starts to answer, but I interrupt him. "Wait, not all of you are going to come. There's no need for that. Edward can come with me, but that's it," I say.

"Bella," whines Alice, "You need me. I may not be able to tell your future, but I can see everyone else's."

I concede, recognizing that it would in fact be very helpful for the little pixie to come along.

"I spent many years with the Volturi. I consider Aro to be an old friend. I need to come if only to tell you what you need to know about the Volturi on the way there," says Carlisle.

"I'm not letting Alice go without me," says Jasper.

"I'm not letting Carlisle go without me," says Esme.

"Well I'm certainly not going to sit here while all of you go gallivanting off to Italy," yells Emmett.

"Me neither," says Rosalie.

"So we're all going, then," concludes Alice. "Our plane leaves—," she starts but I interrupt again. I'm starting to feel very rude, but these stupid vampires barely seem to pause for a breath.

"Wait, wait, wait," I say, feeling like a petulant child, "just hear me out. A vampire I once met told me that Aro can read every thought that has ever passed through a person's mind." They all nod in confirmation of this fact. It sends another trill of fear through me before I manage to compose myself. "That's why you can't come. I don't plan on telling Aro about my gift of controlling fire, and there is no doubt he would want to read your thoughts. Unless you can completely erase today from your mind, you can't come with me," I say with finality.

"Then why were you going to let Edward come? Aro will read his mind first since it's practically the same as reading everyone else's," says Jasper. It kind of annoys me how perceptive he is.

I answer reluctantly, remembering that this is a topic I avoided in the clearing. "I would be able to manipulate my mental shield to protect Edward as well. As I said though, it's much harder to control. It doesn't work the same way as my physical one. I can't manifest mental shields; I can only stretch out the one that protects my mind. Protecting all of you would take a lot of concentration which I won't have to spare. I'll have to be intensely alert while dealing with the Volturi."

"Have you ever tried to put us all under your shield?" presses Alice.

"Well, no," I admit.

"Then try. You never know."

I reluctantly slide my eyes closed and relax my body. I locate the small part of my brain that I only recently became aware of. This shield works like a muscle as well, but it is so much harder to flex. It stretches like a tight spring rather than like a rubber band. With every inch that it moves away from my body, the spring gets harder and harder to pull.

Everyone is very still. I know when each person is underneath my shield because I can feel them in my mind as if they are a part of my body. Edward feels the strongest, as I expected.

When my shield is around each person I let my breath out in a huff, but keep my mind tense. I feel Edward move even though my eyes are still closed. A second later his fingers are twisting through mine. His touch is exactly what I didn't know I needed. As fire shoots through me my shield expands out like a dome with no effort on my part. I still have to concentrate, but the spring feels looser and easier to pull.

I experiment with this newfound control for a moment, pushing the shield out to the corners of the room and then pulling it in so it is only around Edward and me. It's fairly easy to move, yet still nowhere near as effortless as throwing out a physical shield. Maybe that will come with time.

I let go of Edward's hand because I'm curious to see what will happen. The shield snaps back before I can even try to keep it where it is. I grab back onto Edward's hand automatically and the shield is instantly easier to move.

I push it back around Edward but leave everyone else exposed. "Jasper, can you feel anything from Edward?" I ask.

"No." He sounds frustrated.

"His future disappeared," trills Alice, her cheerful voice a contrast to her words.

I stretch the shield back out so all the Cullens are under the bubble.

"What about now?" I ask.

"I can see everyone but you," says Alice, "Are you shielding all of us?"

"Yes," I answer.

She screeches a little and claps her hands and I laugh as I let the shield snap back around me. I realize how stiff I was as my posture relaxes.

We experiment a bit more and realize my shield is kind of like the one-sided windows they have in interrogation rooms. Vampires under the shield can still use their powers on those outside the shield, but nothing can work from the outside in. It's something that I never would have figured out on my own, and I'm starting to appreciate just how helpful it can be to have people to confide in.

The next few hours fly by in a whirl of packing and worrying, the Volturi always at the forefront of my mind. I don't really pay attention to what's going on around me and I consent to let Alice pack for me.

Too soon for my liking, we're being corralled like cattle through airport security. I can tell that the guards are wary of the Cullens and see that they take extra time searching Emmett's bag, probably expecting to find some steroids. It is a rather funny sight when he has to walk through the metal detector gate sideways because his shoulders are too broad. Anyway, I flash them my kindest, most persuasive smiles and they let us all through, albeit reluctantly.

Due to Alice's exquisite planning, we get to the gate just as the plane starts to board.

We all have seats in first class and I find myself seated in between Edward and Carlisle. Rosalie and Emmett are cuddling a few rows back and Jasper and Alice are in the row in front of us. Jasper is very tense until Alice leans over and rests her head on his shoulder. I put up a physical shield around him anyway, just to be safe. Esme is on the other side of Carlisle and is flipping mindlessly through a magazine.

It's hard to believe that everyone is as calm about this as they seem, seeing as I'm as shaken up as Coke in a washing machine. Edward trails his fingers in invisible patterns along my arm and it calms me down just a little bit.

As soon as the captain turns off the fasten seatbelts sign, Rosalie and Emmett head slyly off to the bathrooms, presumably to join the mile-high club or to reinforce their membership.

I need something to distract me so I turn to Carlisle. "Can you tell me about the Volturi?" I whisper so quietly that no human would be able to hear.

"What do you already know?" he answers in an equally quiet voice.

"Close to nothing. Basically only that they are extremely powerful yet still power hungry, very strict about the rules, and very formidable. Everything I know I learned from a vampire who was on the run from them. They were recruiting him because he had a power they desired."

"I imagine then, that you have a somewhat skewed view of what the Volturi truly is. You're right that they're ridiculously power hungry and strict, and they do spend most of their time recruiting new members. What I wouldn't expect you to understand is that the Volturi is respected and even revered by most of the vampire population. It is an honor to most to be recruited. They are the royalty of our kind and they live very luxuriously. It is very rare that a vampire will refuse the offer to join their ranks. They do have one member of the guard, Chelsea, who can manipulate the bonds between people, thus making guards loyal and devoted, but she really isn't necessary. Obviously I don't know for sure, but I would guess that the vampire who told you about the Volturi had some previous run-in with the guard that ended poorly. I can't think of any other reason for him to openly hate the Volturi with so much passion. The Volturi do have a very difficult job. Secrecy is of course necessary, but many vampires wish to come out in the open and assert their supremacy over human beings. The world as we know it would be very different if the Volturi wasn't around."

I can't find words to say after Carlisle finishes speaking. I never thought to doubt what that vampire told me. I assumed that all vampires shared his views and contempt of the Volturi. Of course he would feel so strongly about them while they are chasing him down.

Carlisle must see the doubt and hesitation in my expression because he hurriedly continues speaking. "The vampire you met wasn't completely wrong about the Volturi, though. They are power hungry and they are ruthless when it comes to getting what they want. Aro especially is somewhat of a collector and he would without a doubt love to have you as his most prized possession. I am in no way telling you to let your guard down when it comes to dealing with Aro. He is smarter than he seems and has millennia of experience under his belt. Not to mention he has no reason to be afraid and every reason to be confident. He is under the somewhat deluded impression that his guard is unstoppable, which I would have agreed with until I met you, my dear."

I'm flattered by his praise, but too captivated by his information to pause to thank him. "Can you tell me more about the guard?" I ask, almost forgetting to lower my voice to a whisper.

"I'll certainly tell you what I know, but even after spending years with the Volturi I only know about half of the guard. Jane and Alec are Aro's gems. They're shockingly young, but don't let their youth fool you. Jane can create the illusion of pain, pain more intense than you could ever imagine. Thousands of times worse that the change from human to vampire. She's sadistic; cruel. As if she delights in making lesser beings wish for the sweet release of death.

"Alec is her twin and her opposite in many ways. Rather than magnifying what you feel he makes you feel nothing. When he uses his gift on you, you can't see, you can't hear, you can't smell, you can't taste, and you can't feel anything. He's not quite as frightening as Jane, but his power is equally as redoubtable. They're known as the witch twins, and it's a completely accurate description of them."

I shiver involuntarily in my seat and a flight attendant asks me if I want a blanket. I say yes absentmindedly, but I barely even notice when Edward drapes it over me. Far from making me feel confident about the upcoming encounter, this conversation has riddled me with seeds of doubt. Jane and Alec are only two members of the Volturi. There must be hundreds more. My knowledge is severely limited when it comes to the vampire world. For all I know there could be fifty more gifted vampires in the Volturi guard. The thing that scares me the most is that out of those fifty there could have a power that trumps mine. I know I'm extraordinarily powerful, but how am I supposed to know that I am truly unique? My brain is screaming at me to remain ignorant and naïve but I can stop myself from asking Carlisle to tell me about the rest of the guard. My curiosity is turning out to be somewhat of a curse.

"Jane and Alec do most of traveling along with two vampires named Demetri and Felix. Demetri is, as far as I know, the most skilled tracker alive. Once he has met a person he can track them anywhere in the world. I don't know exactly how it works, but it seems almost as if he has an internal catalogue of brainwaves that he can sort through and choose from. Once he has you on file he can pinpoint your location.

"Felix doesn't have a recognizable gift, but his skill in fighting is second to few. What he lacks in talent he makes up for in experience and dedication. When I was with the Volturi he was learning ancient Japanese martial arts.

"As for the leaders of the Volturi, you already know what Aro can do, and Marcus is the only other gifted ruler. He sees relationships."

Carlisle continues to delve out his knowledge of the guard for the duration of the trip. Rather than filling me to the brim with fear, each new description increases my confidence. As far as I know, no vampire in the Volturi would be able to even stand a chance against me if it came down to a fight- though I fervently hope that it won't. I see now why Edward was so amazed by my gifts. It seems that no other vampire has gifts that are both offensive and defensive. My trio of powers is so impenetrable that it would be impossible to kill me. Even if a vampire had the power to negate my shields, I would kill them instantly with my fire.

Now that I know about the guard, my previous fears seem so foolish. All of my worries stemmed from a lack of knowledge. I am really regretting being so cut off from the vampire world. I know now that it is where I belong.

In a perverse way, I'm starting to look forward to this meeting. Aro has haunted me for decades, and I'm anxious to turn the tables on him.

Then Edward squeezes my hand and all of my fears come rushing back. If I was going into this meeting alone, I would have nothing to worry about. But I now have seven other vampires that are relying on me for protection. I need more practice with my shield. Aro finding out about my fire would be just as bad, if not worse, as meeting a vampire that is more powerful than I am. These aren't just any vampires, though, this is my family. This is Edward.

I am really starting to regret bringing the Cullens along with me. If not for the fact that I do actually want them to like me, I would consider locking them in some airport broom closet until I get back.

It's too late now though. There is no going back, and I will protect them. I need to get rid of any doubts that are floating around in my mind. I cannot afford to have anything distracting me. I look into Edward's eyes and it's easy to focus completely on my determination to protect him. Any doubts I had dissolve like Alka-Seltzer into water. They probably still remain somewhere in the recesses of my mind, but they leave no traces of their existence.

After Carlisle has told me everything he knows about the guard, Edward takes over and tells me more about Aro. "I've read his mind, and it is truly a scary place. No matter what he portrays on the outside, he is always scheming. His entire being is focused on benefiting himself and getting what he wants. He thinks of himself as king, and he will go to any lengths to ensure that there are no threats to his kingdom. I have no doubt that he will try to get you to join the guard. If that doesn't work, he'd rather you be dead so that no one else has control of your power. Do not underestimate him, and never let your guard down," he says while looking straight into my eyes.

I don't know if it's his gaze or my desire to conquer my fears, but I'm jumpy for action. I ask Alice when we're going to arrive.

"About ten minutes. Aro has sent Jane to retrieve us," she says.

"Perfect timing. I have some last minute things I need to talk to you guys about." I pause to make sure that they're all listening. Rosalie and Emmett are back from the bathroom and have fallen silent, so I know they're paying attention even though I can't see them. "From the moment we walk off this plane, I will have you all under my shield. I need you all to stay as close to me as possible and avoid making any sudden movements. It will be hard enough to keep you all protected without having to worry about you taking off somewhere."

They all agree enthusiastically, so I nod and turn to Edward. "I'm going to have to hold your hand," I whisper to him.

"Oh damn it," he says sarcastically and I punch him in the arm. He winks at me and I can't keep myself from smiling. Stupid beautiful vampire.

I go to punch him in the arm again, but he snatches my hand out of the air. He leans his head against the head rest, closes his eyes and rubs circles on my skin with his thumb. The fire that shoots through me distracts me from whatever it was that I was going to say. I decide it wasn't important anyway.

I focus on his touch and pull as much energy from it as I can. I store it up in my body, knowing that the upcoming task is going to take a lot out of me. I'll be fine as long as Edward never lets go of my hand.

My last task before we leave the plane is to change my eye color back to gold. I have too much on my plate to have to worry about explaining why I am a vampire with purple eyes.

I turn to Edward to confirm that they are in fact gold and he answers by placing a staggering kiss on my lips that lingers for the duration of the flight. The fire threatens to take control, but I channel it into my stockpile of stored energy.

I know that no matter what happens today, I can not let any fire escape me. I can protect myself and the Cullens using only my shields. It would be impossible to have a peaceful relationship with the Volturi if they knew I can control fire. Aro would never let us walk away if he knew that I could easily take over his reign at a moments notice. I have no desires to do so. After all, my knowledge of the vampire world barely scratches the surface; there is no way I would know how to keep it under control. I keep those thoughts at the forefront of my mind and lock the fire inside of me with all the barricades I can fabricate.

As we walk off the plane, Emmett winks at the poor stewardess who can't decide whether to be flattered or terrified. Rosalie smacks him on the head and apologizes to the girl who nods weakly at looks like she wants to faint. I decide that the Cullens are in desperate need of some human lessons.

As promised, the Cullens stay close to me while we walk past baggage claim and through the airport. I don't pay attention to anything going on around me and instead let Edward guide me. I summon energy from him and slowly expand my mental shield. It seems willing enough to stretch and be manipulated, but there is still the underlying feeling that it will snap back at any moment.

Once the shield is in place it doesn't take nearly as much energy to keep it there, so I'm able to rejoin the world around me. It's perfect timing too because we've just walked outside and are approaching a sleek black limo. A small figure it leaning against the side of the car.

Edward whispers in my ears that the figure is Jane, and I nod, already having guessed that myself.

Jane is wearing a long dark grey cloak that reaches all the way to the concrete beneath her feet. Her face is shadowed by the hood of her cloak, making her seem menacing just standing there. Indeed, I notice quite a few humans glancing over at her, whispering to their friends, and then crossing the street to walk on the other side.

When we reach the car, she opens the side door and slips inside quickly and gracefully. I glance at Edward with a raised brow and then follow the rest of the Cullens into the car.

It's dark inside, but I have no trouble seeing. Once we're all seated, Jane leans over the divider and tells the driver to go. Her voice is child-like and so overly sweet it hurts my ears a little bit.

Edward whispers to me that the driver is Demetri. I squeeze his hand.

Jane flips back her hood and looks me straight in the eyes. I keep my face expressionless, but I'm shocked at her age. She can't be more than fourteen, as she has just the slightest hint of womanly curves. Her eyes are pitch black and filled with malice. She appears to wear a permanent smirk, and it seems to me that she takes the honor of being Aro's personal favorite a bit too far.

I can tell that her gaze could easily make even the strongest vampire cringe and run away, but I stifle that instinct. Instead I curl my mouth into an identical smirk and wink at her. She narrows her eyes at me and I can see that she wants so badly to make me hurt. I almost laugh at the thought. She'd be singing a different tune if she knew I could burn her up in a matter of seconds.

She turns away from me and crosses her arms, like an ill-tempered child. We sit in tense silence for the rest of the ride. I try not to think about what we're about to do and instead face the window and watch the beautiful Italian landscape roll by.

* * *

**AN- EverlastingPixie1997 made a book cover for Inferno! The link is ** h t t p:/s698. photobucket. com/albums/vv348/twilight_1997/FF%20Book%20Covers/?action=view¤t;= Inferno .jpg **Just take out the spaces and you're good to go.** **Check it out and let me know what you think. Thanks again, EverlastingPixie1997, you rock my blue and green striped socks.**


	13. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

I see the Volturi castle miles before we actually enter the city. Its turrets and towers stretch endlessly into the clear expanse of sky. The castle is majestic and grandiose, but I can tell even from a distance that it is severely lacking in warmth. There are no lights in the windows, instead heavy maroon curtains seem to stand as an effective keep out sign.

It has obviously been modernized; rather than a moat and a draw bridge to keep out intruders, it has an ornate wrought-iron gate. The sun is just beginning to peak over the horizon, so the plaza is empty. Volterra is eerily silent as we drive through the streets. I can't tell if the town always has this feeling of overcast gloom or if it stems from our impending task. Either way, it makes me shiver.

The gate opens as we approach the castle and Demetri skillfully weaves the long limo deep into the castle grounds.

We pull into a surprisingly modern garage that is about the size of the Cullen's whole first floor and is completely filled with cars. I'm not really a car person myself, but even I can recognize how expensive all of the cars are. Rosalie and Edward gape at the selection and Rosalie even runs her hand delicately along the hood of a small fast-looking car.

I look around and see Demetri and Jane disappear through a doorway on the opposite end of the garage. I gather everyone and we walk swiftly to catch up to them.

They lead us through stone corridors that look as if they have no end because they are so long. I can tell that it is cold and damp, and know that if I was still human my teeth would be chattering noisily.

Eventually we proceed through a huge wooden door that makes even Emmett look like a dwarf. The room we enter is so shockingly different than the passageways we just exited that it takes me off guard. The ceiling is high and dome shaped and painted with what seem to be original frescoes. There is a massive gold chandelier hanging in the middle of the room, and it casts eerie shadows along the stone walls.

I notice that an entire side of the room is covered in windows, but the view is blocked again by those heavy curtains. I'm beginning to wonder if the curtains are meant to keep people from looking in or to keep the guard from looking out. I have a startling urge to tear down the curtains and let the sunlight illuminate the shadows.

Alice seems to be the only one who isn't affected by the ominous mood. She dances lightly across the room and bounces on her toes when we stop in front of another door.

A deep voice calls out from behind the door. "Bring in our guests please, Jane." The voice makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up and I have to suppress the flight instinct that arises in me.

Jane turns around and looks at us with that same arrogant smirk. "Ready?" she says mockingly.

I glare at her and she turns around quickly. I gather that she isn't used to being challenged. She pushes open the door and it creaks loudly in the silence.

I take a moment to strengthen the shield around the Cullens before following them through the door.

The room we enter is very similar to the one just left, minus the fact that this one is filled with vampires. Situated near the wall opposite us are three thrones. They are golden and so ostentatious they are almost comical. The chairs aren't what hold my attention though, it's the vampires seated in them.

In the middle chair is the vampire that I assume to be Aro. His hair is pitch black and falls stiffly to his shoulders. Far from the beautiful, luminescent skin of the Cullens, his looks chalky and brittle, like he's ready to blow away in the wind.

Before he turns to look at me, I notice that he is watching Alice rather wistfully. She pays him no attention and continues to dance along the floor. His expression is piercing and the wickedness in his eyes is a stark contrast to his wide smile.

He singles me out with his gaze and I stare back at him, refusing to back down though my insides are twisted with nerves. He looks perversely excited, as if I am a new discovery that he alone has the resources to study.

We stop in a line about twenty feet back from the thrones. I stand in the middle between Carlisle and Edward. Jasper and Emmett are on the ends of the line with Alice, Rosalie and Esme filling in the gaps.

I break my gaze away from Aro so I can study the other vampires in the room. On the left side of Aro is Marcus, who Carlisle told me I would recognize by the blank expression on his face. He looks almost bored, but I see pain deep in his eyes. It's something that wouldn't be noticed by someone who hasn't experienced similar heartache. I let my understanding show on my face for a moment and he looks surprised. I nod my head lightly before moving on to the next vampire.

I assume that Caius is the vampire on Aro's right and I only study him for a moment before moving on. The only expression on his face is pure hatred, and it is so unsurprising that it seems mundane.

I notice that Aro is about to speak, so I quickly catalogue the rest of the vampires in the room. Renata, the weak shield, is standing behind Aro with her hand resting on his shoulder. Her strength compared to mine is laughable; I can see in her eyes that she has nothing to fight for. I could conquer her easily if that's what it came to.

Jane and Alec are standing together next to the door we just came through. I can see that they are acting as guards and are ready to barricade us in at Aro's command.

Demetri and who I think is Felix are on the other side of the room. Demetri is gazing at each of us individually. When his gaze reaches me, he looks puzzled. I can feel him trying to meet my gaze, but I ignore him. Felix is standing with his hands behind his back, calmly watching the action unfold. His face is carefully blank, but his eyes are very alert.

Three women are standing about five feet to the right of the thrones. I don't know which guard members they are, but none of them look threatening or angry.

All in all, there are a lot less vampires in the room than I expected. I suppose that for any other vampire Jane and Alec would be sufficient, and I can see now that Aro is extraordinarily confident.

Aro's chilling voice draws my eyes away from the other vampires. "Carlisle, my old friend, it has been to long," he says. His words are kind, but I hear deception in his voice.

Carlisle smiles and nods but doesn't say anything. Aro seems thrown off at having to be the one to initiate the conversation.

"I must say I was surprised to hear from the lovely Rosalie, as we certainly got off to a rough start," he begins. Rosalie scoffs and Edward leans down to whisper in my ear.

"He invited her to join the guard and she called him a slimy bastard and told him exactly where he could go," he whispers. A loud laugh escapes me before I can stop myself and echoes through the room.

Aro narrows his eyes at us but somehow he doesn't seem as frightening anymore. I'll have to thank Rosalie later. "Yes, well, as I was saying, I was surprised to hear from you. When the call disconnected I was sure that someone would call me back. Then I decided that it was about time for a visit anyway. It appears to be perfect timing as I see you've taken a new member into your ranks," he says with a lingering glance at mine and Edward's linked hands. "I must offer my congratulations to you, young Edward. I was wondering when you would take a mate."

Edward's grip on my hand tightens in response to his words. I silently plead with him not to loose control. It would be so helpful to give him access to my thoughts for a moment, but of course I can't in the present company.

I'm grateful when he loosens his hold and speaks calmly to Aro.

"Thank you," he says lightly, "This is Isabella."

"Isabella," purrs Aro in his disturbing voice, "Your presence seems to have stirred things up quite a bit. I wonder if you would let me see the story from your perspective."

I take a step forward confidently but don't let go of Edward's hand. I let the shield billow out behind me so it is still wrapped around the Cullens.

"You're welcome to try," I say. My voice is soft, but strong, and Aro looks puzzled at my words. He rises off his throne and glides toward me. Renata moves tentatively with him, her eyes pointed toward her feet. His movements remind me of the ghosts from the horror movies I watched a couple decades back.

His eyes are alight with excitement as he reaches out to touch my hand. His skin feels strangely delicate and cold.

I watch as his expression changes quickly from excitement to confusion and then to disappointment before he is able to mask his emotions. His dark red eyes flicker towards Carlisle before he takes a few steps back and arranges his mouth into something akin to a smile.

"Well, it looks like we have a shield on our hands. I wonder, dear Isabella, are you immune to the rest of our gifts? Jane?" he calls and turns toward the little vampire.

She smiles so widely that I can count all of her teeth. She turns slowly to face me, her eyes sparkling with gross delight at her task.

I see her lips move as she whispers something, but I can't focus on what it is because Edward suddenly wrenches his hand from my grip.

My shield snaps back instantly and the force of it takes my breath away. I hear Edward's growl and see him dive into the path of Jane's gaze.

For a moment my brain can't register what is happening, because Edward is suddenly on the ground. His back is arched and his limbs are twitching and his mouth opens in a silent scream that pierces straight through me.

I see red.

I am going to kill Jane, but I have more important matters to take care of. My mental shield explodes from my mind effortlessly and wraps itself like a glove around Edward and the Cullens. It was involuntary; automatic, as if my mind knows that protecting Edward is my number one priority. Edward is still but his breathing is heavy. His eyes are still closed.

It's all I can do to keep the fire inside of me. If I hadn't locked it up on the plane, Jane would be a pile of ashes right now. The only thing keeping me from unlocking the fire is the thought of what Aro would do if he knew about me gift. My brain also registers how close the Cullens would be to my targets and the potential danger helps increase my control.

Moving on instinct alone, I throw out my right hand. A physical shield rams into Jane with so much force that she crashes through the wooden door and slides out of sight into the next room.

And everything turns into chaos.

Felix and Demetri launch themselves simultaneously in my direction. My mind is alert and I let my fighting instincts have control. My hair whips into my face as I spin to face the opposite wall. My other hand flies out and they too are thrown into the wall. The stones crack in loud fissures, but they both spring back up. My shield restrains them against the wall and their startled cries reverberate through the space.

Jasper and Emmett are the next to move, running to meet Felix and Demetri when they saw them attack. A shield springs forth automatically from my mind that exactly matches the mental one. It surrounds the Cullens in a dome. Jasper and Emmett hit it with a loud smack and are knocked to the ground. I don't have time to apologize to them.

Alec is still standing against the wall, but a white mist is slowly pouring out from his hands. I recognize this as his paralyzing gift and strengthen the mental shield around the Cullens. Edward jumps to his feet and rushes over to me. He tries to grab my hand, but I shake him off. I have perfect control and I need to have my hands free.

Jane has rejoined her twin and looks ready to detonate. I feel her attacks in my mind like punches against my shield. I move my hand to throw them both back into the other room, when Aro's voice calls out above all the noise.

"Stop," he yells simply and amazingly everyone freezes.

I'm afraid to move, afraid to even breathe. The silence presses in on me and thunders through my ears.


	14. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

_Jane has rejoined her twin and looks ready to detonate. I feel her attacks in my mind like punches against my shield. I move my hand to throw them both back into the other room, when Aro's voice calls out above all the noise. _

"_Stop," he yells simply and amazingly everyone freezes. _

_I'm afraid to move, afraid to even breathe. The silence presses in on me and thunders through my ears._

My thoughts have caught up with my actions and I'm terrified at what I've done. I don't regret it though; I would do it again if Edward was being attacked. I survey the room and cringe at the amount of damage I've inflicted on the castle.

Aro is looking at Felix and Demetri who are both still pinned up against the wall by a seemingly invisible force. He is at a loss for words so I look around at the other vampires. Each of their faces is painted with varying degrees of shock and anger. Only Marcus seems to be unaffected by the commotion. When I meet his eyes he winks at me in a fatherly sort of way.

I can't even think about the puzzling interaction because I am so focused on the previous events.

Caius looks severely frustrated by Aro's lack of words. I am quite amazed when the veins in his forehead become pronounced. I wasn't aware that a vampire could look ugly, but he manages it in a strange way. Eventually he can no longer contain himself and he yells out. "Seize her!" he calls, but no one responds.

"Surely you see that that seems to be rather impossible," says Aro in a frighteningly calm voice.

Carlisle steps forward and I am so grateful; I know I should speak, but I don't know what to say.

"If I may be so bold, I'd like to point out that Bella was completely within her rights to act in the manner that she did," he says eloquently. Caius snorts and Aro raises his eyebrows. "Don't look surprised, Aro. You know as well as I do that Jane attacked Edward unprovoked. The most important law in our society, aside from secrecy of course, is that bonds between mates are not to be tested unless the tester wishes to face the consequences. I have witnessed many instances in which you have defended this very law. Now, I'm sorry about your castle and you can send me a bill for the damage, but you have no grounds on which to prevent us from leaving and returning home. We have no intentions to challenge you and your guard and I think it would be prudent for us to leave before any such conflicts break out."

Carlisle's speech gives Aro the out he was desperately searching for. I can see in Aro's eyes the relief when Carlisle finds the loophole. Aro knew that he would be expected to kill me or take me prisoner, but he also knew that if he tried he would fail. In doing so, he would completely loose the power he had carefully compiled over so many years.

Yet he still has the nerve to pretend as if he is contemplating his course of action. "Your words are wise, my friend. I will allow you and the rest of your coven to leave, in hopes that we can maintain the peace between our people. I do wish to inquire, though, before you leave, whether you would be more comfortable staying? We could provide you with your dietary needs and I can I assure you that you would all be very useful to the rest of the vampire population."

"I can only answer for myself when I say that I appreciate the offer, but that I am going to have to decline. You know why. Nothing has changed. Of course, I would not stop any of the rest of my family if they wanted to stay, but they will have to decide that for themselves."

The conversation is formal and each word is laced with tension.

We all refuse Aro's offer politely, with the exception of Rosalie who tells him explicitly what she thinks of his idea.

"I regret your decisions, and I leave the offer open indefinitely. I hope you will reconsider. Until then, we shall stay in touch. On another note, you'll notice that the sun is very bright at this time of day. You'll need to keep to the shadows," says Aro with finality. The he spins on his heal and returns to his throne.

We need no further dismissal. Carlisle leads us out the door. I release the shields on Felix and Demetri as we're stepping over shards of wood that used to make up the door. As we pass Jane and Alec I look Jane in the eye and smirk at her. She looks at the floor.

We all simultaneously speed up once we are out of sight. As we move through the passageways I hear the silence being broken by an uproar of voices. We walk faster. We're practically running by the time we move through the garage. Even Rosalie doesn't pause to admire the cars.

We step out of the garage directly into the sunlight. The sudden brightness is a shock after being in the dim castle. It's good that we're deep in the castle grounds because we're all suddenly sparkling as if we had a handful of glitter tossed over our heads.

I've never seen Edward in the sun before, and I'm realizing now what I was missing out on. He looks so unnaturally beautiful that I almost have to shield my eyes. My hand reaches out of its own accord to touch is luminescent skin.

As soon as I touch his arm he makes a sound that reminds me of a low growl, grabs my hand and pulls me fiercely into his embrace. He's squeezing me so tightly that I can barely breathe in his delicious scent. His fingers move up my back and down my arms in frantic circuits. His body is shaking and his face is buried in my hair.

I grip him back, not realizing how much I needed to be comforted. I rest by head in the perfect spot where his neck meets his shoulder.

I'm mad at him for letting go of my hand after I told him not to, but I can't focus on that now because the need to feel him alive and holding me is overpowering.

I need to release some energy. I have so much fire built up inside me that is still fighting to escape. Now with the added fire from Edward's embrace, it's almost too much. I can't bring myself to let go of him though, so I just deal with it.

"Hey lovebirds over there, not that we don't like to see you nuzzling like little puppies and all, but we really need to get a move on," says Emmett much to my embarrassment.

I release my hold on Edward, but he doesn't move. He mumbles something about not caring into my hair and then pretends that Emmett never spoke.

My laugh sounds empty and forced as I slide out of his arms. He grumbles, but follows me as I run to catch up with the rest of the Cullens.

As we run through the grounds, I notice that the mental shield I had put around the Cullens is still there. It shocks me because I'm not using any extra energy to hold it there. I wasn't even thinking about it consciously.

I play with it a little bit, pulling it in and stretching it out, and each movement takes virtually no effort on my part. I don't even feel the usual tension. It stretches easier that a rubber band- I can move it as easily as I can move my hand through the air. I feel like I could stretch it out forever and I would never get tired.

I think back over the events in the castle and pinpoint the time when the shift occurred. It was after Edward had let go of my hand and was being attacked by Jane. I didn't focus on it at the time because I was too worried about Edward and then about the other attackers, but something changed in my shield that made it so effortless to manipulate.

I think it was the fact that in that moment when I saw Edward writhing on the ground, I didn't care about myself anymore. My shield has always been there to protect me from harm or to protect me from attack. When my priorities shifted so that I was not the one in need of protection my shield shifted too. My brain, in essence, began reacting to Edward's situation as much as my own situation.

It no longer feels like it's going to snap back at any second because that was controlled by the part of my brain that ensured self preservation. It makes sense then that the shield was more easily manipulated when Edward was holding my hand because when we are connected and I feel the energy from his touch, my brain wants to protect him too. It wants to protect the source of endless energy.

In a way, it was a good thing that Edward let go of my hand because without that incident I never would have gained complete control and understanding of my shield. Sure, other people may have needed my protection in the future, but I don't think it would have worked the same way. With anyone other than Edward, self preservation still would have been my first priority.

My mind is switching back and forth between being angry at Edward and being glad that his actions gave me new control.

I am still wavering as we move hurriedly through the airport and make it to the gate at exactly the right time again. This time Edward and I have seats apart from the rest of the family, as if Alice knew that we would need the space to talk.

Edward gazes at my face and his eyes register my torn expression. "Bella?" he asks, surprised that my expression is not one of relief like his.

I speak in a whisper and try to keep my voice soft. "Did you think I was kidding when I told you that I needed to hold your hand the entire time we were there?"

I see his eyes widen in recognition before he drops his head into his hands.

"I'm so sorry," he whispers in a choked voice. "I knew you were serious and you have to believe me when I say that keeping your hand in mine was my sole focus up until Jane got involved. I could read her mind, though, and she knew it. She was picturing exactly how much she would make you hurt, picturing you screaming for her to kill you long before she would have mercy and relent. She was thinking in clear pictures and words, trying to goad me into action. I am ashamed that it worked. I couldn't stop myself. It was instinctive. Jane posed the greatest threat to you in that instant. The rest of the family was fine, so I guess I thought that it would be okay if we weren't protected anymore as long as you were.

"I recognized my mistake when you didn't take my hand again. I was proud of you for standing up to Aro and throwing around his idiotic guard, but my heart sunk when I realized that you didn't need me anymore."

He never looks up at me while he's speaking and I can see how much he means his words. I put my fingers under his chin and lift his face towards mine so he can see that the anger is gone from my eyes. "I do need you. The only reason I was able to control my shield without your touch was because you were in pain. My actions were instinctive, just like yours. When I saw you laying there, my only thought was protecting you. I do need you and I'm starting to think that I'll always need you. But if this is going to work, you're going to have to trust me when  
I tell you to do something."

Some of the regret fades from his eyes, but it doesn't disappear completely. That makes me feel better, in a strange way because it lets me know that he is telling the truth about taking my words seriously.

He presses his lips to mine in a tentative kiss and I answer him enthusiastically. I don't let it go on for long though, partly because I have way too much energy stored up in me already, partly because there is a creepy old man sitting near us who looks rather enthused by our display of affection, and partly because there is a lot more Edward and I need to talk about.

"You were reading Aro's mind, right? What was he thinking?" I ask him.

"Aro is surprisingly good at blocking his thoughts from me. Before he knew about your gifts he was blocking me out by thinking only about his desire to have Alice and me as part of his guard. He pictures the three of us as an unstoppable force of knowledge- the past, the present, and the future all working towards his cause. I'm familiar with these thoughts, but they never fail to make me want to ignore his mind completely. I'm ashamed to say that I wasn't paying more attention to him.

"When he first found out about your shield, there were many different emotions running through his mind. Jasper could tell you better that I can. I have a hard time telling what people are feeling because they don't often put their emotions into words. For a brief moment I could read his terror that Carlisle was building up a force to overthrow him and his guard. He masked that quickly with his curiosity to know more about you. He kept up a constant stream of questions in his mind to block his true thoughts.

"Again I'm ashamed to admit that I paid him no attention while our little battle was taking place. I was so focused on you and making sure you were okay that for once in my life, the voices in my head were pushed to the back of my mind.

"I focused on the guard again after the fighting had ceased. Aro was furious of course, but even his thoughts weren't clear. He kept alternating between wanting you dead, wanting you on the guard, and just wanting you out of his sight. It was hard to read his mind just because of the inconsistency of his thoughts. I do know that he will not let this encounter go unchecked. It could be months or decades before he decides to act; time has no meaning for him, but I am certain that he will take action. The only hope we have is to have Alice watch him and warn us when he makes a decision.

"Caius, as far as I could tell, was the only other Volturi member that we really need to be wary of. He hates more than anything the fact that he doesn't have a gift. He knows that he is practically useless to the Volturi. Because of this, he has a special contempt for gifted vampires. I'm sorry to say that you are now at the top of his list.

"As for the rest of the guard, they are all somewhat scared of you and somewhat angry with you; Jane and Alec more so than the rest, but they of course can't do anything about it. A select few members of the guard were feeling drawn to your power and hoping that you would indeed take over as ruler.

"Of course, only about a quarter of the guard was present in that room today. Stories of the events that occurred will no doubt spread throughout the castle and maybe even throughout the vampire community outside of the Volturi. I'm betting that Aro will try to spin the events to make you the bad guy, but we won't know how the public reacts until it has already happened.

"When we get home we'll have to discus our course of action, but for now there isn't much we can do but wait."

I don't answer him for a few moments, instead sitting and letting his words soak in. I think that waiting is going to be very hard, even for me. I would be much more content if the next move was ours to make. It's not though, and besides, I can't think of anything that we could do to improve this situation. In a way I'm glad that Aro has to be the one to decide how to handle these events because then we can't be the ones to make the wrong decision.

Carlisle's words didn't get us out of the black. They merely gave us time. But I know how important time is. Time means knowledge. Edward says the Aro takes no notice of time. I hope he is right. I hope that it is a long time before Aro takes action, because I will make sure that that time is not wasted. We will be prepared for anything he throws our way.

The Cullen's seem to think that Alice's visions are infallible, but I'm a bit more wary. If what she sees depends on the decisions that people make, then people could block her by being indecisive. Of course, that would require them to know how her visions work, and I don't know if anyone outside the Cullen family has that knowledge. Either way, she's all we have, and even if her visions are only ninety percent reliable, that is ninety more percent that what Aro has.

We'll just have to stay alert and not let ourselves be swept away by the monotonous routines of our lives.

I laugh at the thought of my routine, realizing that tomorrow is Monday- a school day. Angela's calculus problems, Jessica's worries about her relationship with Mike, it all seems so trivial and boring compared to the adrenaline-packed events of this weekend. I used to enjoy the peace and predictability of human life, but now I don't know if I'll be able to sit and listen to a teacher speak about useless topics for the better part of my day.

High school and humans used to be my escape, but now I have the Cullen's. Now I have Edward. I think I would be content to give up on the whole human façade if I still had Edward to keep me company.

I love him.

I haven't really given much thought to putting words with my feelings for him, and before when the thoughts arose I always pushed them to the back of my mind. I justified my actions by telling myself that I had more important things to worry about, but I think that I was really just trying to protect myself. If I acknowledged my love for Edward without knowing how he felt in return, I would be opening myself up for heartbreak, and I've already had enough suffering to last me a lifetime.

After today, though, I'm not worried about him breaking my heart. He put me before his family. He dove in front of me and suffered Jane's attacks in silence- attacks that were meant for me.

It was silly, looking back, that I ever questioned how he felt about me. I won't ever question it again.

Now that I've settled all these things in my head, I have a startling urge to shout it out to the rest of the world. I'm in love with Edward Cullen! He's mine! I won't tell him now though, not on a plane full of people. I've never said I love you before to anyone other than my family. It's not something I take lightly. I see couples in school say those special three words and then break up days later. That's not how it is for me. Those three words are a promise, and when I do say them, I don't plan on ever taking them back.

I glance up at his face. His eyes are closed, his eyelashes casting long shadows on his cheeks. His features are relaxed and his breaths are slow and even. He is absentmindedly twirling my hair through his fingers. Contentment settles deep inside me. It doesn't matter what Aro decides to do, or what curve balls he throws our way, because no matter what happens, I've found where I belong- right here in Edward's arms.


	15. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

I once went to Disney World to see what all the fuss was about. I was a skeptic, refusing to believe that the place was a modern day fairy tale land.

Everything changed when I walked through the ticket gates. I walked out of reality and straight into a land of make believe creatures, majestic castles, and thrill rides. The sheer joy of the place was what really affected me. All around me I saw little children being captivated by their favorite movie characters while their parents watched with a smile; happy if only because their children were happy.

While I was there I was a different person. I was a tourist, someone that Mickey Mouse loved to chase and hug, and someone that screamed bloody murder on the Tower of Terror. I didn't think about the fact that later that night I would have to drain some innocent animal, or the fact that every second I spent around the humans increased the glorious fire in my throat and made control all the more difficult.

For once, surrounded by princesses and creatures from someone's imagination, I didn't stand out. I didn't have to pretend.

Like all good things in life though, it didn't last forever. Reality came crashing down on me the moment I walked past the entrance gates. Humans swarmed towards their cars to head home and rejoin the real world, and I became an anomaly again.

Going back to school after coming home from Volterra is like coming home from Disney World. I am used to the adrenaline packed events of the weekend that the monotonous routines of the school day are going to make me crazy. I have no idea how I ever found it peaceful. I must have been delusional.

If not for the Cullens, I would probably be in a padded room wearing a straight jacket by now. I live for the time I spend at their house, no matter what we are doing. I haven't even been to my house for more than ten minutes since we got back a few days ago.

I'm feeling very lucky that there are only two weeks of school left before summer. I just can't make myself sit still. I either think about Aro and the Volturi and get antsy for action, or I think about Edward and get antsy to tell him that I love him. I still haven't told him yet. I'm surprised that it hasn't exploded out of me yet. It will soon though. Each day the words crawl closer and closer to the tip of my tongue, just waiting for the right moment to burst through my lips.

The problem is that I don't know when the right moment is going to be. I want to tell him when we're alone, but that just doesn't seem to be happening as of late. We're either at school surrounded my mind numbingly stupid gossipers or we're with the rest of his family.

It's my fault too. When we came back I suggested that we all stay together as much as possible because then I can have everyone under my shields.

Anyway, one night we all decide to go hunting together, and as Edward and I run hand in hand near the rest of the family it becomes nearly impossible not to shout those three little words at the top of my lungs.

So I tug on his hand and we slow to a stop. The rest of the Cullens look back, and I motion for them to keep going, but stay close. As they head off together I feel my mental shield being pulled along with them.

Ever since those fateful hours in Volterra, my shield has been laughably easy to manipulate. I can stretch it easily over miles, but none of us have ever experimented to find out the maximum distance.

The shield is shaped like a dome at the moment, in its natural state. Such a large dome would be rather ineffective though as it offers no physical resistance. All an attacker would have to do would be to walk under the dome. So I flex my mind and shape the shield exactly the way I want it. If it weren't invisible it would look something like a spider web. Edward and I would be the center of the web, with thin strands branching out in all directions. At the end of each strand is a different Cullen, each ensconced in his or her own bubble of protection.

Edward squeezes my hand and pulls me away from my thoughts. With one look into his ochre eyes the words are once again throwing themselves at my pursed lips, trying to break free. It's now or never. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Then I slowly lift my shield all the way off of my mind. Again, it's very easy to move, but it leaves me feeling terribly vulnerable and naked. It is surprisingly uncomfortable. I leave it away only long enough to think _I love you_ with all the passion my mind can muster before letting it snap back to protect me again.

I breathe a sigh of relief both from finally telling Edward how I feel and from having my shield protecting me once again. I open my eyes and look back into Edwards gorgeous eyes.

He is rather frozen and I find it quite funny. I laugh a little bit and it seems to thaw him out.

"Bella?" he asks and stares deep into my eyes, as if trying to lift the truth right from my mind.

I lift the shield once again from my mind. It isn't nearly as uncomfortable this time, as I know exactly what to expect. _Hi_. I think in my mind. _I love you_.

His eyes widen and his mouth stretches into an impossible wide grin. "How di… Why ca… Wi…" he stops each sentence in its tracks, seemingly at a loss for words. Then he shakes his head and steps towards me so quickly his movements are a blur. He crashes his lips to mine and locks me in his iron grip. Fire erupts from each point of contact and settles low in my belly. He breaks his lips away from mine and leaves a line of open-mouthed kisses down my neck that makes me shiver. He starts to speak, and pauses between each word to kiss me into oblivion.

"I love you too," he says and I don't reply because my lips are suddenly occupied.

My fingers move through his mane of hair, probably making it stand up even more than usual, but I can't find it in me to care. He sweeps his tongue along my lower lip and I moan involuntarily. I match his movements with my own as I feel the need to become impossibly closer to him.

It seems he feels the same because he's pushing me forward until my back hits the trunk of a huge evergreen with enough force to dent the wood. He lifts me up swiftly so our eyes are at the same level and then presses his body flush against mine. His hands, his lips, his body- the sensations are almost too much for me to handle. Almost, but not quite.

Then, against my will, my thoughts are diverted away from the love of my life. I feel a small pounding against the physical shield that always, always surrounds Edward. I reluctantly break my lips away from his and look for the source of the interruption.

He looks confused for a moment before he follows my gaze and sees Emmett and Jasper crouched on the branch of a neighboring tree, each with a handful of acorns. Edward growls at them, but they just smile and throw a few more acorns, each of which hits a seemingly invisible wall a few inches away from Edwards back. They don't seem discouraged by the fact that none of their acorns hit the target, and instead throw even more.

Edward moves as if to charge them, but I hold him back and whisper in his ear that I'll take care of it. With a quick smirk aimed at the acorn throwers, I throw a shield at the branch they're perched on. It splinters with a deafening crack and they tumble towards the ground some twenty feet below. Of course they aren't hurt, but their egos seem to have taken a much needed hit as they stand up and brush themselves off.

Four other sets of laughter mingle with mine and Edwards and the rest of the family skids to a stop by our sides.

"Sorry about them, Bella," say Alice and Rosalie together. I smile and wave it off with a flick of my hand. I'm still riding the wave of my Edward induced high, and I don't think anything could pull me under.

I notice through the haze of emotions that Alice is bouncing and clapping and being happy even more so than she usually does. I watch Edward's face, looking to read his reaction to what is going on in her mind.

His face softens as he gazes at her. He looks down at me and his eyes are smoldering like molten lava. I am inches away from kissing him again when Alice's voice distracts me.

"I saw your future, Bella! Twice!" she trills and the dots connect in my mind. When I lifted away the mental shield to show Edward my thoughts, there would be nothing preventing Alice's gift from working on me. I have no doubt that Jasper would have been able to sense and manipulate my emotions had he been closer at the time. I am very wary of that fact as one of my worst fears is loosing control of my emotions.

"What did you see?" I ask Alice.

"Oh nothing really," she says nonchalantly. "Apparently you were rather focused on a penny-headed vampire. All I could see was your determination to tell said vampire that you love him." She sings the last two words and I bury my face in Edward's shirt.

A chorus of awes from the ladies and chuckles from the men surrounds me and I try unsuccessfully to disappear. Edward, being the smug vampire he is, drinks it all in without batting an eye.

Alice's high pitched voice resounds through the laughter. "You have to do it again, Bella! And this time for more than five seconds," she says with a roll of her eyes.

"Later," I say, "Edward and I need to hunt first."

"Looks like they have plenty of energy already," Emmett whispers to Jasper. I ignore them.

Alice looks huffy, but Jasper whispers something in her ear and she smiles hugely and begins to tug him towards the house.

The rest of the Cullens follow behind after promising me that they won't stray too far.

Edward and I stay relatively close to the house so that my mental shield isn't too strained. Edward hunts down a mountain lion while I am content with a few deer.

When he's done he trots over to me. His eyes are so light they look like sparkling white gold. My eyes, of course, stay purple, but Edward tells me that if they got anymore beautiful he wouldn't be able to look straight at them. I can't help but kiss him for a few minutes.

When we get back to the house we follow the noise towards the family room where Emmett and Japer are apparently locked in an intense chess match. Alice is standing off to the side with her arms crossed, I'm guessing because she was told not to interfere on Jasper's behalf. The rest of the family is huddled around the little table, enthralled by the game.

It's nothing like the long, tedious human matches; this one takes place at vampire speed. I estimate that it'll be over in a few minutes.

I watch the game for a moment and see instantly that Jasper has the upper hand. He's tricking Emmett into a corner and Emmett has no idea. In three moves Jasper will be able to checkmate Emmett with a pawn.

Sure enough, three moves later Emmett is looking at the board flabbergasted. Probably trying to figure out how he never saw it coming.

"Next time," Emmet growls at Jasper, but Jasper just smiles.

As Emmett gets up from the table Edward slides into his seat and they start to reset the pieces.

I can instantly tell that Edward is the better player. I can't tell if he truly is more skilled or if he's reading Jasper's mind. Jasper looks more concentrated than in his game with Emmett and I see his brow furrowing even when Edward only moves an insignificant piece. I gather that he is trying to block Edward out of his mind. Edward told me that Jasper's favorite technique is to scream Lady Gaga songs in his mind, so I wonder which one he chose this time.

A few moves into the game I see Japer setting Edward up for a knight fork that will surely loose Edward his queen. He doesn't see it. I can tell because he's focused on the other end of the board, trying to set up his attack. Whatever Jasper is doing to hide his thoughts, it's working.

I can't let Edward be tricked like that. I put my hand on his shoulder and slowly lift the shield from my mind.

I don't even have the chance to tell Edward to watch his queen. Jasper goes rigid in his seat and his hands come up to clutch his head- as if he is trying to hold himself together. His expression is horrifying, almost like when Edward was being tortured by Jane.

Then Edward stands up so fast that he knocks over the table. The pieces clatter to the floor and the sound breaks the sudden silence. Edward's hands grip my shoulders and his eyes move over my face frantically.

I don't know what is going on, but I quickly pull my shield back. Jasper's head snaps up instantly and he too studies my face.

The rest of the Cullen's are frozen as well so I look back and forth between Edward and Jasper.

After a moment, Jasper steps over to Alice and wraps her in a fierce hug. She looks bewildered, but still tries to comfort him.

I look back to Edward and he can tell from my expression that I am demanding answers.

"Bella, why are you in so much pain?" he asks. He spits the word pain as if it is a cuss word.

Then Jasper cuts in. His voice is harsh and ragged. "It's more than just pain though, it's guilt and self-hatred more intense than I've ever encountered."

And now I understand. When I lifted my shield to show Edward my thoughts, I didn't think about Jasper being able to read my emotions. I probably wouldn't have thought twice about it even if I did realize.

All those years ago, when I was a newborn vampire, I put up a wall to block out the most painful of my memories. It was the only way I could control my mind. I locked away all the suffering and guilt, and they have been locked away ever since.

What I didn't realize was that I can try as hard as I want to push these emotions to the recesses of my mind, but they will never go away. Emotions and feelings fade over time, but only if they have the chance to do so. I never gave myself a mourning period. I never suffered from my grief. I never even let myself think about my emotional pain, so it never had the chance to lessen. It's still there, locked away in my mind, as strong as it was that very first day.

Even though I don't feel the pain, Jasper does. The wall I put up doesn't keep him out. To him, guilt and pain is probably my most dominant emotion. It's understandable, too. The happiness I feel now is nothing compared to the grief I experienced.

I take a long look at the faces around me, and I know that it's time for them to know my darkest secret. The secret I keep hidden even from myself.

I usher them into the family room so we can sit while I talk. Before I leave the room my gaze falls on the chess pieces that lay forgotten. My eyes pick out the queen. Her face is cracked and her crown is chipped. She is the single most powerful player on the board, and here she is lying mangled on the floor.

I bend down and pick her up, being mindful of her cracks. I right the table and set her in the square where she belongs.

Then I join the Cullens in the family room and prepare to break down the wall that I have so carefully constructed over so many years.


	16. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

"I was born in 1912. My parents were Charlie and Renee Swan. Charlie was the overseer of a very large farm in southern Virginia. The farm stretched over 200 acres and was separated into smaller plots of land. The plots were farmed by sharecroppers. We lived in a small white house that was sandwiched between a large forest and fields of corn and tobacco.

"Charlie died when I was three years old. The doctor said he died of a heart attack, but I can never be sure. Medical care back then was nothing compared to what it is now. My mother didn't like to talk about him much, but from what I gathered he was tall and thin with a bushy mustache and deep eyes. His kindness was his most memorable feature though. I've heard many stories over the years from desperate men that stumbled onto our land looking for work and a way to support their families. Charlie always gave them a plot of land to farm and didn't take advantage of their work.

"When he died, our close family friend took over ownership of the farm. He let me and my mother stay in our house. We tended to some chickens and did a bit of cleaning for some of the single men, but for the most part we kept to ourselves.

"For as long as I can remember I have had some influence over fire- or it has had some influence over me, I don't know. It was a long time before I realized that it wasn't normal, though. I didn't have any close friends, other than my mother. When I did realize that I was a freak, naturally I kept it to myself. When I was young that was easy to do. I was drawn to the flames, but I never did anything more than let them dance along my skin, which I did in secret. I was so fascinated that the fire never hurt me, as I had seen my mother burn herself on the hot irons and have to nurse the wound for several hours.

"When I passed into my teen years, everything changed. I was a gradual change, but significant nonetheless. I started to feel the fire even when I wasn't near a candle or a lantern or a stove. I started to feel it inside of me. It flowed through my veins and warmed me from the inside out. My mother would feel my hand or my forehead and deep lines of worry would crease her face. It stayed that way for a few years, and eventually she grew to except the fact that her daughter was exceptionally warm.

"During these years, my secret experiments with fire became more intense. I learned to create fire where there previously was none. I learned to make the fire inside of me channel out through my palms and to absorb in into my body the same way.

"The more I played with fire, though, the more unruly it got. It no longer just simmered thought me lightly; it raged. It fought to escape like it had a will of its own. Whenever I was near some flames they would twist and stretch angrily towards me.

"My mother noticed; it would have been impossible to hide it from her. She confronted me, and I showed her what I could do. I coaxed some fire onto my hand from a near by candle and played around with it for a moment, manipulating it to make it grow and then pushing it back onto the wick. She almost fainted. She looked at me warily as if wondering if I was truly her daughter. She didn't speak to me for a long time. But then she did. I don't know what made her change her mind, but suddenly she was accepting me again.

"I didn't realize how much I needed her. I didn't realize how much I craved to have someone know everything about me and still want to stay. Her friendship made all the difference in the world.

"As I approached my late teen years, the fire began reacting to my emotions. It would crackle and rage and fight for control when I was angry or annoyed, it would simmer lightly when I was calm, and it would snuff out completely when I was sad. It was my mom that helped me to control my emotions. She helped me study my mind so I could consciously decide what I wanted the fire to do.

"For a while it was rough going, and at times I was terrified. The fire magnified my emotions so that even the slightest twinge of annoyance made me seethe and the first hints of happiness made me dance. It felt like I didn't have control of my own body, and that scared me more than anything.

"My mother was a very spiritual being. She believed that everyone and everything on the earth was woven together in a tapestry of life. I had always turned a blind eye to her meditation and talk of the grand scheme of things, preferring instead to focus on the here and now. Ironically, meditation turned out to be my saving grace. While my mother meditated to feel her connections to the earth, I meditated to shut out everything until it was just me and the fire. It took me a long time to get good at it, but eventually I mastered it, and it made all the difference in the world.

"The sensation is hard to put into words, but while I was meditating it wasn't like I was in my own little bubble, it was like nothing existed but me and the fire. At first it was just peaceful and calming and a way for me to sooth my anger or frustration. Eventually though, it was how I learned to control my mind.

"Conscious thought is a tiny portion of the brain's capabilities. When we think to ourselves, I want to move my hand, or I want to walk over there, it's not our conscious thought that makes it happen. Normally we walk or we move without having to consciously think about it. While we're having a conversation we don't have to think about how we want the muscles in our mouths to move, our brain takes care of it for us.

"Most people never stop to think about how much we do automatically. People don't even come close to finding the limit of their brain's capabilities. They take for granted that they don't have to think- they can just do. When I meditated, my mind was an open book. I was very calm, and I was able to trace that emotion back to it's origin in my brain. I became so familiar with that part of my brain that controls my emotions that I was eventually able to control it while I wasn't meditating.

"Emotions are unruly and wild, but I became very skilled at putting up walls in my mind that would stop the emotion in its track. Even then, though, it was hard. I would go from being angry one second to peaceful the next. My mind wasn't trained to experience such a whiplash of feelings, and it left me drained. I understood then why people don't have control over their emotions- they wouldn't be able to handle the pressure. I couldn't handle it myself.

"With my mother at my side and meditation as my guide, my life was better than it had been in a very long time. Even with the constant weariness from trying to control my emotions, I was happy.

"And then Phil came into our lives.

"He was a widower at the young age of 35. He stumbled onto our land with nothing to his name but the clothes on his back. The overseer took pity on him and gave him a five acre plot of land right next to ours. He built himself a small house and worked quietly. Renee felt bad for him- or maybe just wanted to spend time with him, so she took to cleaning his house and cooking him meals.

"I paid no attention to her infatuation for a while; it was right about the time when I was still struggling with the onslaught of changing emotions. I was so constantly tired that I didn't even notice us drifting apart.

"Eventually, though, it was impossible to ignore. Renee would be gone for practically the whole day and then bring Phil to our house to giggle at him over dinner. Don't get me wrong, I liked Phil. He was a little young for my mother, but she seemed happy and that was enough for me. I never got close very close to him; I didn't want or need a father figure in my life. I had my mother and that was good enough for me.

"Soon though, it became very apparent that I didn't have my mother any more. When I tried to talk to her about my problems or even just about my day I could see in her eyes that part of her attention was always elsewhere. It frustrated me and made me sad, but I blocked the emotions with a strong wall in my mind. I couldn't be angry with my mother because I didn't have anyone else to turn to. Plus I knew I was being selfish in wanting to keep her to myself.

"Life went on like that for a few months. I constantly added layers to my wall to keep the sadness and anger at bay. I deluded myself into thinking that everything was okay until suddenly I couldn't pretend anymore.

"It was one of the first days of autumn. We hadn't had a heavy rain in a few weeks and everything was dry and crackly. The bottoms of the leaves were just beginning to turn maroon, as if the color was exploding out from the center of the trees. My mom invited Phil to dinner at our house and I was resolved to spend a night with a cheerful mask plastered onto my face to hide my annoyance and discomfort.

"It was just getting dark by the time Phil arrived so I suggested to Renee that we eat outside with the moon as our lamp. She scoffed and mumbled something about how improper that was and then she pulled out all of our candles. Her rejection didn't bother me nearly as much as her actions. We made a point to use the candles only when absolutely necessary, as it was a test of my control to have fire so near by and not interact with it. We only used the fireplace in the dead of winter, and even then we walked around snuggled in blankets for weeks before lighting the fire.

"I tried to shrug off my resentment and told myself I should be proud that she trusts me to stay in control. I put on my mask and helped set the table.

"I tried not to realize that Renee touched Phil fourteen times before we even made it to the main course. I tried not to realize that I hadn't been included in the conversation from the start. I tried not to realize that the pressure behind my wall was building.

"Instead I focused my energy on mundane tasks. I cut my food into perfectly even pieces and chewed each bit exactly twelve times. A small gust of wind snuffed out the flame on one candle and I reached out my hand automatically to relight it. It was a normal thing for me to do, I don't even thing we had matches in the house- why would we? I didn't think twice about it until Renee snatched my hand out of the air in a death grip. I turned towards her, my eyes wide, and watched in disbelief as she shook her head almost imperceptibly.

"Everything was perfectly clear in that moment. Phil didn't know about my fire and Renee didn't plan to tell him. I don't know why I figured that he already knew; I guess I thought that surely Renee would have told him if she planned for him to be part of the family. I was wrong. Renee was embarrassed by me, her anomaly daughter.

"I knew in that moment that if I didn't get away I wouldn't be able to control the hurt that was raging through me. I pushed away from the table so quickly that my chair tipped over backwards and the silverware rattled angrily. I ran into the woods without looking back. I didn't know what Renee would tell Phil, and I didn't care. I curled myself into a ball as if I could physically restrain myself from doing something I would regret.

"I pushed seemingly endless hurt and anger behind the wall in my mind. After a long time I started to feel normal again. I stood up and swayed on my feet. I was exhausted. The only thought in my mind was getting home to my bed.

"When I got home, Phil was gone and the candles were still burning. Renee had waited up for me.

"I don't remember exactly what happened when I walked in the door. I blocked that memory so far back in my mind that I haven't been able to find it again. What I do know is that suddenly we were arguing. Loudly. And sleep was suddenly the furthest thing from my mind.

"I accused Renee of being ashamed of me and she called me a freak. Each word she spat at me was a sucker punch to my gut. Each time she spoke the pressure behind the wall increased exponentially. I wasn't even thinking before I yelled. I asked her if she even remembered that she loved my father. I accused her of cheating on him with Phil.

"I remember the hurt in her eyes when I said that. She backed down for a moment and it was almost enough for me to control myself again. Almost, but not quite. The fire was raging through me, making my temper flare and my emotions surge. All around me I saw the small flames on each of the candles swell and reach angrily towards me. The temperature in our little house rose about twenty degrees. A bead of sweat trickled down my face and dropped off my face. It hit the floor and sizzled.

"My mom was backing slowly into the corner of the room. She held her hands up in surrender. When her back hit the wall she jumped in surprise. He mouth was pressed into a tight line and her eyes swam with both anger and worry.

"She told me that I needed to get in control now. And then said that this was why she was never going to tell Phil about me.

"And then I lost it.

"Every single ounce of anger and hurt and pain that I had bottled up inside my mind crashed through my wall as if it were made of tissue paper. I didn't have even one ounce of control left in my body.

"One second I was glaring at my mom with my fists clenched tightly at my sides. The next second fire was shooting out of every single pore on my body. I couldn't see anything but the raging inferno. The heat and the power of the fire brought me too my knees. Everything I had fought so hard to keep inside of me was bursting out effortlessly. I didn't have anything left. I almost passed out. The corners of my vision turned black and I fought to get air into my lungs.

"An impossibly soft whimper somehow reached my ears. I suddenly remembered my mother, and I hated myself for forgetting. But that one emotion, that one something inside me, gave me enough energy to move through the inferno.

"I crawled on my hands and knees across the wooden floor that was crackling and surrendering to the fire. The temperature was rising every second and it felt amazing.

"I couldn't see but a few inches in front of my face, but somehow I knew where I was going. After a moment my hand brushed heap near the corner of my room. It was impossible for me to know if it was my mother as everything was surrounded completely in flames. I prayed to whoever was out there that it was my mother.

"I needed strength to pull her outside with me. I closed my eyes and focus on the good memories of us; when she accepted me and the fire; just random times when we laughed and had a good time. I pulled some fire into me and let it give me strength.

"I scooped the bundle into my arms, and at once knew it was my mother because of the dead weight of her form. Adrenaline must have been on my side because I was somehow able to stand and walk with her in my arms.

"I thought I knew my house well until I was trying to navigate through it without being able to see. I ran into the table, a few chairs, and what I think was a wall before I finally made it outside.

"The inferno was surprisingly contained inside of our house; once I passed through the doorway only rivers of smoke were blocking my vision. I ran about ten more feet before setting my mother gently on the ground.

"She was still so surrounded in flames that I couldn't see her face. I automatically began pulling them into my body, but with every flame I siphoned away from her, it seemed like ten more grew in its place.

"If not for the energy I got from taking the flames inside me, I would have passed out long before my mother was no longer burning. As it was, the task left me more exhausted than I had been in a long time.

"Even when all the flames were snuffed I kept trying to pull more from her body. It was as if I thought I could take away all the burns.

"Only parts of her pale skin was still visible; the rest was charred black and looked disgustingly like it was about to turn to ash. I was working on autopilot as my hand reached out and gently probed her neck for a pulse. Her heart was beating. It was beating so faintly that at first I thought my brain was playing tricks on me. But it was still beating.

"I whispered softly to her and watched tears I didn't know I was crying fall gently onto her ruined cheeks. Her eyelids fluttered and opened, but her eyes didn't see anything. Her lips moved and formed three delicate words. My fingers that lay resting on her neck ceased to feel her heart beating.

"My pulse thundered through my ears as if it was gaining the strength that my mother's was leaving behind.

"I was numb for quite a long time, though I'm not actually sure how long. After a few hours I stood up and walked into the woods. I walked for a long time, and then I stopped. I sat on a rock but didn't feel the jagged edges pressing into my skin. I looked towards the trees but didn't see the leaves and the trunks.

"I was sitting on the same rock when a vampire found me. Apparently he was drawn to humans who will possess extraordinary talents when they are changed. I didn't care. I didn't care about anything.

"The only thing I could think was that I had killed my mother. I had killed my only friend. I had killed her, and yet her last words were that she loved me.


End file.
